fewmit: Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen of the press. I have a short prepared statement to give, and will follow up with any questions. *ahem* Effective immediately, I am resigning my position in media relations for the American U21 team. It's become apparent that I no longer have the time and energy to fulfill my duties, and the quality of my work has suffered as of late. For the most part I've just poked my head in on Mondays, banged out something half-assed, and disappeared for the rest of the week. In the past only resentful, snarky curmudgeons like Namssor bitched about it, but lately there have been complaints by actual respected community members. I don't wish to be a distraction any longer to the success of the team. I will be leaving this afternoon back to the States. Ahhh..you, weaselly-looking dude.
SpF: SpF, Buzzerbeaterblog.com. Is there any truth to the rumors that your resignation stems in part from you trying pass off an untalented doofus as a U21 player in order to sell him at an inflated profit?
fewmit: OK, first off, that’s just asinine...you're, what, assuming in this that there's a baseline profit in doofuses? Second, I barely made a profit from that, so I would hardly call it abusing my position. Third, that someone would assume that the player was a regular U21 player and not a Mexican ballboy is a failing of their due diligence, not of my actions. Fourth, I have no idea what you're talking about. Next?
Heathcoat: Why the hell you snooping 'round my playahs?! I seen you snooping out my playahs! Get away from my damn playahs, chumface Buzzebeater Nazi!
fewmit: Huh? Who
are you? This is just getting silly. If there are no further real questions I'll just be on my....
magiker: fewmit! Fewmit! Get your sorry butt back to the arena! I have here in my hand a two season contract with your signature on it. You....
fewmit: Dammit, you told me I was signing a Chupacabra hunting license! I've been kept here under a false pretense!
magiker: Believe you me, I want you out of here too. I tried talking the BB's into having the contact nullified, but they won't allow it. You're stuck here, jagoff. Make the best of it. The part that pisses me off is there's no provision in here for the quality of your work, unfortunately...just the quantity. Just give me 500 words each Tuesday morning and for the love of Pete keep your hippie ass away from me for the rest of the tournament.
fewmit: Son of a pighumper…Edju can't keep me here forever. I've got pictures of that bastard. Hey, wait up. I can just submit anything?
magiker: It'd be nice if it'd be about the game in some way, but the exact....
fewmit: So I could just submit anything....say like a transcript of this press conference, tack on a link to the game, and be done for the week?
magiker: Well, technically...
fewmit: Sweet.
(17155)