BuzzerBeater Forums

Alright, let's start with a short physics lesson on Finnish toilets:
1) It's cold in Finland.
2) Water in cold toilets in Finland is frozen.
3) Peeing on frozen water with the backsplash factor has pretty much the same effect as peeing on yourself.
4) Multiply this backsplash effect by however many times a day and the restrooms at the arena are basically ice skating rinks made out of urine.

So the preferred place for urination by folks who like to not smell of tinkle has become the alley behind the arena. You line up against the wall and politely stare dead ahead since there's nothing between your eyes and the guy next to you's johnson. And since I really don't want to offend 7 foot steroid pumped Serbian thugs (thought they prefer to be called "centers") whizzing next to you I usually take this a step further and close my eyes while conducting business there.

With my eyes closed last night I overheard this conversation a few tinklers down:
#1: You tie game? Tie game Monday?
#2: Yes, yes. But you have to crunch time the Czechs in return next week. Do you understand?
#1: Yes! We crunch damn Czechers. You tie Monday!
#2: We have a deal then. So you know, if you back out we're gonna sick the Hungarians on your ass.
#1: We are trustable. First rate deal!
#2: Fine.

OK, so I had to know. I peeked open my eyes and saw assistant coach Jon Laurent and some short Chinese guy chewing a cigar doing a parting "shake" before exiting the wall. I always knew this U21 stuff was dirty, but in this case I was truly disappointed. Why wasn't I cut in on the action? Good question. I walked over to Jon and let him know what I heard, saying that I'd expose the conversation on this game preview unless he coughed up some nice blackmail dough for yours truly. His response, I quote:

Jon Laurent: "*snort* Whatever. No one ever believes a damn word you write anyways...everyone just thinks you pull that "reporting" shit from your ass every week like it actually happens. My freaking dog could crap better copy than you."

So tune in Monday and watch the US team take a dive against China. Oh, and Jon Laurent can suck it.

well after inspecting fewmit's findings yes, he did find people urinating outside (I still can't get the image outta my head BLAH!)
And since I'm late for the recap magiker has his 67 pitbulls staring me down like I'm food..........and since now Mykyta got njured that gotta cap up my past 3 days! How exciting! AND I got a ton of homework to do so I got detention this FRIDAY! (srsly)

So a bad week but hopefully a good one for our USA as they took on Buddha's sons, China U21. I actually saw an immitation of Buddha dancing in the courtside seats, I'm like "Is this Buddha?" Well it wasn't it was just some fat guy.......I also saw the Chinese guy who was talking to JL and he was like, "STUPID AMERICA! At least we got all the nuclear power!" So then power went out and theneveryone had to go to a Finnish' Walmart and purchased 20,000 flashlights to finish the game. STUPID CHINESE! Ye was like, "You don't mess with China!" Then some Chinese person said in his Language, "中国！
有一天，我们会打败你！只是看你的小的车去繁荣！通过我们的武器!" Well that was awkward...........I didn't have my laptop with me so we couldn't translate what he meant......Anyways USA bombed the Chinese and their Great Wall of Centers 100-82. POG was Sheppard, with 24 pts and a 17.5 rating! Then another player worth mentioning was Huston.....with 23 points and he didn't foul out thank goodness! Anyways watch next Monday as they take on Brazil U21 and their Portugeese crazy language........this is tough goodnight!