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Well, time to get ready for another exciting…hey! Quit throwing the rotten tomatoes! Ouch! No shoes either! Look, I know you were expecting some hilarious shenanigans from fewmit, or tough’s…whatever tough does, I’m still not sure on that one. Ever since I joined the Cabal, they haven’t even let me out of the office. Apparently I’m still doing the “initiation”, or whatever Jon Laurent calls it. Basically it means getting coffee for everyone and giving magiker’s pit-bulls “walks”. Maybe he was poorly raised, but his definition of walk generally means me running for my life while they try to get their next meal. We might need to work out our differences in semantics. At least getting coffee isn’t so bad, except that magiker keeps reminding me that he takes not two, but three teaspoons of orphan tears in his.

Imagine my surprise when fewmit called me into his office. “Look kid, here’s your first assignment, you’re covering the Brazil game. I was going to do it, but something important for the NT has come up. (“Another Nickelback concert” I thought.) You’ve got ten minutes to pack.” I had no clue why no one else was taking the job, but as soon as my ten minutes were up I could see why. “Yeah, the budget didn’t have enough for your airfare, so you’re gonna have to hitchhike.” That was 2 weeks ago.

I finally arrived at the US training facility. Magiker was pretty ticked, but that’s nothing new. Aaron Meeker’s gameshape had finally gotten to the head coach, who had tied him to a chair, locked him in a room, and forced him to watch the Spice Girls movie on repeat as punishment. Huston was doing his usual gorilla wrestling, I had never seen a gorilla cry like that before. After practice was over, Jon Laurent got everyone together as Magiker addressed the team. Unfortunately, I had not eaten in a week because there was not enough room in the budget for my food, so I passed out. Tune in on Monday to find out if Magiker’s pep talk worked as the U21 team goes head to head with Brazil at 1:30! Oh , and send me something to eat would ya?


Last edited by Aradrad at 10/28/2012 12:03:29 PM

Lesson learned: Brazilians don’t tap out. As I found out unfortunately, they don’t have a sense of humor either, so when you make wisecracks from the sidelines, make sure they can’t hear you. They had this particularly nasty gorilla…wait, that was a guy?! Anyway, I think I may have a broken rib. The upshot is that they foul a lot, to the tune of 21 times, which really gave the US squad an advantage, giving them 30 chances at the stripe compared to the only 9 free throw attempts they were allowed.

McArthur really had a stellar day, leading the team with 16 points and 11 rebounds. Late in the game he started jumping up on the shoulders of that gorilla Brazil had down near the basket and just dropping the ball in. Normally this would be a foul, but Jon Laurent called me over before the game and gave me a bag of peanuts. Food! Well, not for me anyway. I had to sit in the bleachers and hit the refs in the back of the head with them every time I was given the signal, which explains why Huston only had 2 fouls.

USA played exceptionally well today, taking the day with a final score of 107-79, playing at equal enthusiasm. In his press conference, magiker had this to say about the team’s performance. “I’m real proud of my guys. They got in there and were tough in the paint, outmuscled and outshot the defense. I really attribute this win to each of their managers who kept them in good gameshape for us this week.”**

Once again, the US U21 team beats out Brazil big time 107-79. Now if you’ll excuse me, fewmit was too cheap to pay for a hotel so I’m going to pick up the popcorn and peanuts that dropped between the seat so I can eat and then sleep in the parking lot.

(**This is the official version of magiker’s press conference which may or may not have been altered from the original by this reporter at gunpoint by the staff of the U21. Tell my family I’ll miss them.)


Last edited by Aradrad at 10/29/2012 8:44:37 PM