From the Daily Log of Yeppers
Day 24 In Russia
8:00 am- Wake up call. Reed Purdy just got called up from his home in Switzerland. Guess who gets to pick him up? Asked Fewmit to make the water boy Tough do it, but apparently he "needs a break from my stupid face."
8:30 am - Purdy's excited to be in Russia. Just asked me if we were gonna go past the Great Wall. He will fit in nicely.
9:00 am - Staff meeting. Theres a press conference regarding the nationality of our players later on. Every time we ask Fewmit what he's gonna tell them he says he has "a plan". He says this a lot. He never has one.
10:37 am - Press Conference. Turns out Fewmit actually did have a plan. He directed all questions to our newly appointed "Director of Recruiting and Guy in Complete Control of Where the Players Come From", Tough. Tough took the podium, and in ten minutes flat the reporters were reduced to hysterics, and fled the room.
11:30 am - Shoot Around. Mark Horner has thrown chalk into the air no less than twelve times now. Scorers table is visibly annoyed. Edgar Eddy won't shut up about how by sheer odds, hes bound to make a three this season sooner or later.
11:47 am - Mini-crisis. Ran out of juice boxes. Prince Peter Savimbi is refusing to play if he doesn't get a juice box. Does Russia even have juice boxes? Don't they drink juice off of machetes or something? Is that racist?
11:49 am - Crisis averted. Found a Capri Sun. Savimbi still isn't happy, but hes gonna play.
12:30 pm - Game Time.
12:31 pm - Shutout ruined.
12:56 pm - End of the first quarter, up by 1. Every time Eddy looks like he might shoot a three, Lewis and Brea have been instructed to block it. The tactic is working well, but Eddy is furious. He's now trying to block Brea and Lewis's shots, but hes being foiled by their impeccable footwork and craftiness on the low post.
1:34 pm - Halftime. Tie Game. The Chinese are hitting threes like they are going out of style. Tried to sneak into the Chinese locker room to...um...interview them about...stuff....but apparently the Chinese are no strangers to cheating and are waiting for me. Escaped by promising them we would CT the Japanese. Suckers.
2:07 pm - Second half is going more our way. Purdy has turned up his defense a notch on the perimeter, and Lewis and Carnes are carving out space underneath the boards. Literally carving. They are waving knives around, threatening to slice anyone who gets close to the paint. They mean business too. Eddy got sliced twice. Apparently they haven't learned the English phrase "same team" just yet.
2:45 pm - We win!!! The Chinese coaches are furious, but mostly because Fewmit bypassed the traditional handshake in favor of yelling "SUCK IT, CHOP STICKS!" directly in their faces.
3:15 pm - Post Game Press Conference. MVP goes to Juan Lewis, which triggers a hissy fit from Mark Horner. Got him a mirror to admire himself in, he seems to have calmed down.
5:00 pm - Celebration begins. We tricked Tough into wearing an Uncle Sam Costume, and left him outside The Kremlin. When we drove away, the locals had him surrounded and were lighting Molotov cocktails! Ahhh the camaraderie...
2:30 am - Celebration ends. Not really sure where Fewmit is. He was playing a really shady looking poker game, and then he was gone....eh I'm sure he's fine. Whats the worst that could happen in....Russia.....oh god what have I done...
Last edited by yeppers at 4/15/2013 8:13:36 PM