Dear Diary,
Tensions are getting high here in Russia. Jfarb left Chile to join us because he's convinced Fewmit is running the U21 team into the ground. Practices have been a fiasco. Every time Fewmit tells the team to do something you can hear Jfarb's exasperated sigh from the bench. Predictably, Fewmit's getting angry. He can't take it out on Jfarb, because we are starting to think he's not joking when he tells his stories about running NT coaches out of town, so hes been taking it out on disgruntled water boy Tough. Yesterday he had the whole team run until they puked for no other reason than to make Tough clean it up. The poor guy has also been coming in with some pretty bad bruises that he won't talk about, but I caught a glimpse of his lower back, and he's been cattle branded with the letters OYSH, and I would recognize that brand anywhere. Still stings when I bend over....
It all came to a head on Monday. As we prepared for Poland, Fewmit went over the gameplan while Jfarb sat in the back muttering comments like "Are you sure?" and "Your funeral...". He had clearly gotten to Fewmit, which became evident when in the opening seconds of the Poland game, Fewmit burst into tears and ran from the gym screaming, "OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"
With no Fewmit, and a smug, but completely unhelpful Jfarb on the sideline, coaching duties fell to Tough. So we lost. Badly. At one point Tough called for a "two point conversion", and he spent the entire second half calling plays that no one had any clue as to how to run them, such as "FRY UP THE THREE" and "YEEE-HAW!." I really hope Fewmit recovers because if not, I may have to coach next week, and my coaching methods are all liable to land us in federal prison. Although if I'm being honest, diary, if the Feds find out where we found Juan Lewis, I'm probably headed that way anyways. Anywhooo, until next week...
xoxo,
Yeppers