You are correct, your relationship with your wife is more than just about the act of sex...and a gay person should feel free to love who they want....and I don't look at your relationship with your wife as courageous, or anything that should be put on a pedestal, just like gay people in love shouldn't be either. Who people love shouldn't matter to the next person....but with this issue, and the sympathetic nature that has come from it, like Fewmit said, a changing view on homosexuality, the media and others are now esteeming them for declaring this aspect of their lives.
Ever see people put pictures of them and their family in their office? Ever see people wear a wedding ring (and assume they're married to a person of the opposite sex?) Do you know the names of your co-workers' spouses? Ever hear someone answer the phone using a typically opposite sex name, and end the conversation with "I love you."? Ever see parents smile when two little kids of the opposite sex kiss one another (and compare it to reactions when two boys or two girls kissed)? All of these are examples of what most of society expects, and they're in your face, being "declared" every single day. Gay people just want the same ability to do those things, without fear of people hating, or hurting them.
We can get into the a big debate of all the pro's and con's if you like...but when it comes to Professional Sports, the Military, and other fields, this "courageous" decision has far reaching implications that affect more than just the person coming out....and not all of those things are positive for everyone involved.
Sure, but you got any real evidence that there are "far reaching consequences"? If the military studies and experience since the end of DADT demonstrate that there's no significant adverse effects, then that's good enough for me. And if it applies in the military, then it would take a lot to convince me that it doesn't apply to sports teams, or your gym shower.
I am not saying that a gay person shouldn't come out, or shouldn't be able to be honest with who they are, but just like in this post, where I point out a different point of view, and am called shallow...there are others that have to work in close proximity with that person, who might be very uncomfortable it (their feelings are real too, and it doesn't make them a bad person)...whether its a trust issue on the basketball court, in the battlefield...or a new-found awkwardness taking a shower around that person...others are affected. But if any of those people are genuinely uncomfortable about it, their feelings don't matter, because we are "evolving" as a nation, and their teammate made a "courageous" decision.
Saying that you may feel be uncomfortable around gay people doesn't make you a bad person. Saying that gay people should hide such a large part of their authentic self because you just don't want to deal with those feelings is, I dunno about 'bad', but definitely pretty weak (and it essentially does say to them, "please don't come out").
This not to deny that you're experiencing those feelings, but your rational self can keep them in check. And while you're thinking about your own feelings of being uncomfortable, try and think how many times you might feel uncomfortable if you were gay. [And all of this doesn't even touch on what fewmit brought up, which is the threat of real violence that gay people have experienced, and still do, for being their true self].