Next round of ideas:
Attempt to acquire an entire roster of players with the same first name. Variations of the name would be acceptable to expedite your mediocrity. i.e. Chris, Cris, Christopher, Kristof, you get the idea. Should you manage to win this league while completing this task, you would probably be in consideration for GOAT regardless of team name. You may want to consider same last name. This would drive your arena PA and TV play by play bonkers. This is more for shits and giggles than actual mediocrity.
You might want to consider trimming resources. Go pick up a level 7 trainer and put him to use training stamina and free throws. It doesn't quite pack the punch of the above mentioned idea, but over time I bet it takes its toll on the franchise.
Public Proclamation - Go on record stating you will only run one specific offense for the entire season. I really dont think it matters which one. Do this and watch the GDP's against take their toll.
Research for the greater good - Figure out how to run a successful FCP. This is going to take a lot of trial and error and could potentially restore the title of GOAT. Especially if you have a team full of Chris doing it.