While everyone was relaxing, listening to music, and making fun of Edju, I was on my own mission. I went to the Ministro Pistarini International Airport in Buenos Aires, and found a plane that had a pilot inside, but was otherwise empty. I carefully found my way into the plane, and told the pilot, "Hey! Get out of my plane. I was here first.", and he replied, "Oh, okay. My bad." and he left. Now, I had to find my way to the hotel where Uruguay's players were chilling at. However, they would recognize me if they saw me, so I put on a disguise to look like Neil Patrick Harris as the plane was flying. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to land the plane, so I jumped out without a parachute and landed onto the roof of the hotel without a scratch. I took out my knife and cut a hole through the roof to get to the top floor, only to realize there was an elevator next to me. Oh well. I busted open every room that I could find until I found Enzo Narancio and Jose Rodriguez of Uruguay. When they saw me, they said, "Woah! Is that Neil Patrick Harris? Oh my god can I have your autograph?", so I signed for them, and then found their shoes, attached 50 pound cinder blocks to each shoe and ran out before anything could happen to me. I sprinted back to the roof and used my jetpack to get to the USA hotel just in time to go to bed. However, I had trouble sleeping due to the music being blasted from one of the players' rooms, and I could make out "You don't know, oh oh! That's what makes you beautiful!" I wonder who that was. Whatever, I still got 8 hours of sleep. In your face. Enough about me, let's get to the game.
Magiker was able to find former national team great Ricky Logsdon to give the team some motivation before the game. As you all know, Ricky was one of the finest players on BB until he accidentally shot himself in the face while trying to hunt a deer, forcing him to retire. With his face completely covered in bandages and having no skin visible, no one could make out a word that he was saying, and jfarb ended the speech by yelling "F*** YOU BRICKY" and then body slamming him into the ground. No word on Ricky's condition at this moment.
The game was decided right from the start, and team USA lead the entire game on its way to a 109-62 win. Patrick Duff lead the way with 17 points and 11 assists, and Trenton Funk added in 16 points and 15 rebounds. Barely able to still breathe, Narancio and Rodriguez shot 4-17 and 3-17 respectively while playing heavy minutes. You're welcome.
Tune in next week on Monday 7/16 at 6 PM ET to watch us play against an opponent TBD.