With the Olympics starting on Friday night, the team went out to a bar and partied. Within an hour, everyone got really drunk, except for Robby Serrano, who was more focused on eating tacos than drinking beer, and Michele Bello, because he was only 18. The players made fun of Bello constantly throughout the night doing things like shoving a beer in his face and then saying, "Oh wait, you can't have that! OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL", tapping on his shoulder and looking away, which was making Bello very confused, and even peeing in a cup and forcing Bello to drink it. By the end of the night, the team was averaging a 28.7 blood-alcohol level, which included Bello and Serrano, and everyone besides those two players passed out for the next two days. So on Sunday morning when the US olympic team played against France, Bello and Serrano were the only ones watching. Serrano was really into it, watching players such as Kobe Bryant, Russell Westbrook, and Carmelo Anthony, and decided to change up his playing style a bit to model it after theirs. By the time Monday had arrived, everyone was now awake and most of them had massive hangovers, but they were good enough to play.
Magiker got Uncle Drew to give the team a motivational speech, but before speaking a word, he slapped a wall and broke his hand, so no one could give the team a motivational speech now.
The team had trouble pulling ahead of Venezuela early, and as halftime was nearing, Venezuela was still within striking distance of taking the lead. This caused Jonathan Beaucage to be angry, so as Venezuela center Gerardo Fernandes shot a baseline jumper, Beaucage took out his gun and shot Fernandes, causing an injury. The refs called a flagrant on Beaucage, who protested that he didn't even touch him, but oh well. Luckily, the US hung on for the rest of the game and won 72-67. Robby Serrano chucked up 36 shots with 0 assists, but still had 37 points to lead the way.
Join us next week on July 37th, wait no that's wrong. Join us next week on August 6th at 6 PM ET to watch us play against Colombia.