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Week One Power Rankings - Part Three
8. Linndale (9)
EFFG: 104.5 (10) | OPP EFFG: 99 (6) | Average: 8
Speedtraps' crew starts the season 1-1 with a +1 point differential after 19-point loss to the Warriors and a 20-point victory on TV against the Dragons. I had to dig for this one, because I couldn't see much reason why based on stat glancing that Linndale has struggled. As a team, they've shot 43%, including a not terrible, but not great 34% from beyond the arc (from non-outside focused offenses). It took me a bit, but I found the glaring issue at hand: Mantas Petriukštis. He's averaged 34 minutes per game at shooting guard and while he's only shot 4 threes (and not made one), he's shot 21 total shots and only made three. In other words, he's Ice Cold like a Natty Ice. In 75 games, he's averaging 32.8% from the field...which is not good. I doubt Air Allnite can do anything to recuperate his woeful shooting as he appears to be what he is...which is headed for the bench, if I had a guess.

9. Mindless Zombies (3)
EFFG: 105.5 (8) | OPP EFFG: 117.5 (9) | Average: 8.5
Unlike the 1-1 CB Bethesdorf, Mindless Zombies are 1-1 and smack in the middle of the pack in these rankings, unlike their 3rd place ranking in the preseason. While they somewhat expectedly lost to Tasty, their two-point victory over VileOnes came after they blew a 14-point lead at the half, leading by one heading into the final frame, it was a tight quarter with Mindless never extending their lead more than 3 until 58 seconds were left when they moved it to 5, 84-79. After a few points from both sides, it was tied up at 18 seconds by Vile, before Ma Ying tried a layup with 4 seconds left and was fouled. And in a fitting ending, he made two free throws to clinch the victory after a grimacing final shot by Vile clanked off the rim with no time left. They host Jumpstop before visiting CB Bethesdorf for a TV game.

10. Super Sonics (6)
EFFG: 133 (5) | OPP EFFG: 131 (14) | Average: 9.5
A terrific offense combined with an inefficient defense isn't a recipe for success, especially in this league where offense appears to be coming at a premium. I am somewhat surprised, but again, it's week one, so those are bound to happen. Their 15-point victory over CB should tell you all you need to know about whether or not the Sonics will remain this low, but their loss to Tasty doesn't bode well for much competition at the top of the Great 8. Their second highest salaried player, Stanisław Fabis appears to be filling a backup role who dominated their Cup matchup. Regardless, their upcoming games against the bottom of the Great 8 (VileOnes and Jumpstop) should move them back up these rankings.

11. Jumpstop Jumpers (15)
EFFG: 90 (12) | OPP EFFG: 107 (8) | Average: 10
The self-proclaimed #1 pick, while being the first 0-2 team in these rankings hasn't performed as terribly as promised. At this point, it looks like the competition for the top pick may be better than the competition for promotion, with five winless teams averaging just 80 PPG. Of those five, the Jumpers have the lowest negative point differential. They're going to have to try even less than they already are to get that coveted pick. A 7-point loss to Balls and a 5-point loss to Fort Wayne leaves them heading to a road trip to the Zombies before hosting the Sonics.

Week One Power Rankings - Part Four
12. VileOnes (14)
EFFG: 95 (11) | OPP EFFG: 123 (12) | Average: 11.5
The 8th worst team in the Great 8 is tracking to be better than the 6th worse in the Big 8 at this rate, and I have to admit (again) that I'm surprised. But, thanks to their strong effort against Mindless, they made up for their withering performance against Fort Wayne. Messineo's heroics at the end of the game (a rebound leading to the tying shot and the final attempt that went awry) fell short, otherwise, they'd be 1-1 and appear like they might belong at #12. A trip to the Sonics is followed by Balls to the Walls coming to town for a show down of Whose Really Worse.

13. Dragmort Dragons Utd (10)
EFFG: 78 (14) | OPP EFFG: 119 (10 | Average: 12
I'm actually chalking this up to strategy to start the season, with Dragmort taking it easy through the first few games, which doesn't look so bad when you look at a 10-point loss at home to F.Day and a 20-point loss to Linndale on the road. Their 4-core of $30k+ salaried guys get a bit of a break with Muffin Men coming to town before we might get to see what they're really made of when they travel to the 209.

14. Balls to the Walls (16)
EFFG: 84 (84)| OPP EFFG: 128 (13) | Average: 13
A 7-point victory over the Jumpers was a nice start to the season, but CB Bethesdorf's demolition of them on Tuesday doesn't bode well. It's not looking like there's much parity in the league this season, but time will tell. They've brought in three new players to bolster their salary, but with Tasty looming there's not much hope, though they do get to take on VileOnes with a chance to get another win, perhaps.

15. 209's MostWanted (8)
EFFG: 77.5 (15) | OPP EFFG: 132 (Tied-15) | Average: 15
A difficult first week with games against the Lion teams leave them with the third-worst point differential after two games. While they've moved on from their big three Nádas, Rumin, and Ziółkowski, their new core of three cover about $105k in salary for them, but after that their depth is lacking. However, they should have some cash to work with to bolster their chances, unless they too decide to tank for the #1 pick.

16. Muffin Men (13)
EFFG: 55.5 (16) | OPP EFFG: 132 (Tied-15) | Average: 15.5
I don't think Muffin is the worst team in the league...just the misfortune of facing probably the top two teams in the Big 8 to start the season. Yeah, their EFFG is abysmal, but that also comes against the top two OPP EFFG leaders in the league. And while they host Shandong on Tuesday, that have a chance for redemption tonight against the Dragons. Let's see if they can turn this thing around.

Best of luck tonight!

I will say, just to see your write ups makes me want to stay up. I’m positive the next d3 league I promote to won’t be this entertaining.

Came back just to read this leagues awesome thread!

Day 3 (Saturday 9 December 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Muffin Men 49 - Dragmort Dragons Utd 87
209’s MostWanted 77 - San Dominica Warriors 110
F.Day Internet Lovers Club 73 - Lion Rebels 99
Linndale 66 - Shandong Golden Lions 88
VileOnes 61 - Super Sonics 95
Jumpstop Jumpers 65 - Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 98
CB Bethesdorf 146 - Fort Wayne Pistons 142
Tasty Tardsicles 100 - Balls to the Walls 61

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 146 : CB Bethesdorf
Rebounds : 68 : Dragmort Dragons Utd
Assists : 38 : San Dominica Warriors
Steals : 16 : Fort Wayne Pistons
Block Shots : 11 : Super Sonics

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 40 : U. Jaén (Fort Wayne Pistons)
Rebounds : 31 : M. Coedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️)
Assists : 13 : G. Izaza (Fort Wayne Pistons)
Steals : 4 : S. Aranda (Fort Wayne Pistons)
Block Shots : 3 : L. Fuzong (Muffin Men), S. Hollins (Lion Rebels), Z. Levin (Super Sonics), S. Fabis (Super Sonics)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : F. Alidori (San Dominica Warriors) (17 Points, 3 Rebounds, 8 Assists, 3 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 27
Shooting Guard : U. Jaén (Fort Wayne Pistons) (40 Points, 7 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 39
Small Forward : L. Baião (San Dominica Warriors) (21 Points, 7 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 28
Power Forward : G. Nuñez (CB Bethesdorf) (31 Points, 19 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 47
Center : M. Coedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) (25 Points, 31 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 1 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 47

MVP of the evening
M. Coedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) (25 Points, 31 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 1 Steals, 2 Block Shots), G. Nuñez (CB Bethesdorf) (31 Points, 19 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 47

The bad performance of the evening
J. Graf (VileOnes) (0 Points, 2 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots), : Efficiency : -9

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : A. Durham (VileOnes) : 6 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : S. Aranda (Fort Wayne Pistons) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : A. Pakzat (Dragmort Dragons Utd), D. Branimirović (F.Day Internet Lovers Club), A. Durham (VileOnes), M. Coedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), G. Hilliard (Jumpstop Jumpers), J. Valentin (Jumpstop Jumpers) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : Z. Levin (Super Sonics), A. Durham (VileOnes), T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), A. Guilla (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), U. Jaén (Fort Wayne Pistons) : 4 Three points

The best performer : T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) : Rating : 18.0

The worst performer : T. Käiväräinen (209’s MostWanted) : Rating : 5.0

Roberto Gurgone logged onto the video chat. “Good to see you, my friend! You ever pull crap like that again, I’ll kill you myself. How are you feeling?”

“Like I took a charge from a Mack truck on I-90. Which is an improvement.”

“Pio, you get sick, take the time off. Delegate. You have a staff. You know, Saturday was a rough night.”

“I heard. From what little I’ve seen, looks like someone ran motion. Why did Air do that?”

“Byron was out sick also. You know Air doesn’t listen to Marshall. The players were just listening to who was running the sidelines.”

“Staff meeting?”

“No. Pio, you don’t need to do that. It’s already handled. Officially, Byron Helm is the associate head coach and Marshall is the lead assistant. Air is not happy, but is he ever? Enough about that for now. What was it?”

“A series of unfortunate events. That RSV thing presents like a flu. I knew it wasn’t that, though. Flu shot. What it did was aggravate my existing bronchitis, but then it started trying to take me out.”

“How so?”

“RSV caused fevers and dehydration. I didn’t know I was dehydrated; I was drinking water, orange juice, peppermint tea, lemon tea, and ginger ale like you’d never seen. I can’t breathe, I’m using my inhaler ---which I kept updated but hadn’t had to use in years--- and I’m in the ER and they weigh me. I haven’t been that at that weight in 20 years. That’s when I knew something was really wrong. So they gave me an IV and kept me on IV all weekend long; also I was in an iso unit. Needed 2 magnesium infusions. I was low. And then my RSV decided to play with my diabetes. They were going to put me on insulin, but I argued against that. The IV got me right, but it was rougher than it should have been.”

“When are you expecting to be back to the grind?”

“Docs won’t clear me before Monday. Still in iso, but at home, with far better food and accommodations.”

“Take all the time you need. We got this.”

“Just one question. Of all the things to do, why did Air think we needed to run motion?”

“He thinks it was unexpected, and he wanted to get a read on how far the team needed to improve on the ball security.”

“Tell him he’d better be worried about job security.”

“I’ll let Byron tell him. It will make him feel better. He’ll be back tonight.”

“Thanks, Roberto. I’ll see you guys in the office soon,”

“Not before you’re ready, got it?”

“I’ll see you as soon as the docs clear me. I’ll check in tomorrow.”

As the call ended, in walked Pio’s staff.

“Let’s talk about staff roles and job performance, gentlemen...”

Pete:
Ok welcome to the Pod! I’m Pete Jamison with me of course is Hunt along with the tenacious Sam Walsh. Our special guest this morning are two San Dominica legends, Bret Rodriguez and Mr. Smooth himself, Douglas Diamond. Normally our boy Matt would be here but he’s a little under the well this morning so …

Samantha:
Question is why is he under the weather?

Pete:
I don’t know he’s Matt, could be anything.

Brett:
Y’all think Matt’s Christmas shopping on us

Samantha:
Hell no, my suspect is spiked apple cider

All:
Ooooh!!!

Hunt:
Oh yeah that would be Matt!

Pete:
Ok joking aside. We love you Matt. Whatever it is, hurry back to us Bro. (pause) All right. Warriors took care of business Sat-to-day Night against the Outlaws of the 209. The 209 Most Wanted have been a dangerous opponent since their arrival to the III.11 back in season 59.

Samantha:
They have been rising as contenders in the Big 8. In fact they have given the Warriors some issues in the past.

Pete:
Fortunately, the Warriors have prevailed when it really mattered most. Most of the time. But still a dangerous team.

Brett:
You absoultely right Pete, Sam. This one started off really close. The Outlaws leading by three after one, but then it was pretty much Warriors after that.

Pete:
110 to 77 was the final in that one. LAB Baiao led the way for the Dubs, 21 pts, 7 boards, 5 dimes. He actually started this game after coming off the bench for the previous 2 league games. DD you’ve been in this situation with Coach before, being the main man and then coming off the bench. What’s going through LAB’s head right now.

DD:
Having gone through that, look it’s no different than its always been. Always be ready for whatever. At the end of the day its about getting W’s if coming off the bench gets W’s it is all goodness

Hunt:
Now when they start losing, will it still be so easy for LAB though.

DD:
I mean yeah but so far, no matter when or how LAB has been getting into the game he’s been getting his. Other than the Linndale game and that was the season opener so you expect maybe a let down, he’s been getting 20 easily since. (pause) Oooh watchout guys Hunt’s got that look

Hunt:
Look I just want to know who is gonna address the elephant in the room.

Samantha:
Apparently you, I have a feeling where you’re about to go.

Hunt:
Look, for the 2nd consecutive game Ranger Granja has been held to less than 10 points. That’s got to be concerning for Coach Stephenson. Now fortunately LAB has been stepping up but Ranger has just been pretty pathetic the last two games especially given we have the FDILC coming up.

Pete:
On that. Do you guys think that’s because Ranger Granja is the focus on the defensive end or is he just in a slump?

Samantha:
I think its a mixture of both. Teams are going to focus on him in the backcourt because he can easily drop 20 points in a game and he’s not the only guard in the backcourt who has been under performing far as I’m concerned.

Hunt:
Yeah but no one expects Blanchet to score points. I expect Blanchet to drop dimes. He’s averaging about 5 a game. Ranger is gettng 40K this season and its definitely not to put up less than 10 points in consecutive games.

Pete:
How worried are you guys about Ranger going into the Graveyard next game.

Samantha:
I’m not that worried, the real concern is will the Agency be living in Coach Stephenson’s head much like Carolina did. Every match has pretty much been a blowout so I’m more concern about Coach maybe overthinking the lineup than Ranger Granja being in a slump.

Pete:
Yeah I think Coach would love to finally get one over the … Did you call them the Agency?

Samantha:
Why not? Enough letters to be a federal agency of some kind.


Last edited by Coach Stephenson at 12/12/2023 2:47:37 PM

DD:
Maybe they can help me get my money

Bret:
You are still harping on that.

DD:
Yeah because you said they would run a box defense against the Muffin Men and I told you they wouldn’t

Bret:
I said maybe

DD:
You said maybe on the pregame show. I ain’t talking about the pre game show I’m talking after. After you was certain they were gonna go Box and we took a bet.

Bret:
Man you can’t count that. Coach said after the game he would have ran the Box but was scared it would lead to a mismatch of Granja being on a big.

DD:
That don’t matter the point is he didn’t go with the Box!

Bret:
Seriously!

DD:
(jokingly)
Yes Seriously! Pay up. Just know I don't take IOUs or Monopoly money.

Pete:
(laughing)
We’ll be back

Day 4 (Tuesday 12 December 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Dragmort Dragons Utd 115 - 209’s MostWanted 94
San Dominica Warriors 66 - F.Day Internet Lovers Club 87
Lion Rebels 114 - Linndale 91
Shandong Golden Lions 101 - Muffin Men 62
Super Sonics 69 - Jumpstop Jumpers 45
Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 113 - CB Bethesdorf 109
Fort Wayne Pistons 78 - Tasty Tardsicles 102
Balls to the Walls 82 - VileOnes 98

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 115 : Dragmort Dragons Utd
Rebounds : 61 : Shandong Golden Lions
Assists : 29 : Lion Rebels
Steals : 9 : Shandong Golden Lions, Fort Wayne Pistons
Block Shots : 11 : Dragmort Dragons Utd

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 38 : S. Kang (Dragmort Dragons Utd)
Rebounds : 19 : G. Quevedo (F.Day Internet Lovers Club), G. Cinovskis (VileOnes)
Assists : 10 : L. Melucci (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)
Steals : 4 : P. Cuellar (209’s MostWanted)
Block Shots : 6 : Q. Yu zi (Dragmort Dragons Utd)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : L. Melucci (F.Day Internet Lovers Club) (33 Points, 8 Rebounds, 10 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots), W. Acevedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) (32 Points, 5 Rebounds, 6 Assists, 2 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 35
Shooting Guard : H. Kwang Chih (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) (33 Points, 4 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 2 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 28
Small Forward : S. Kang (Dragmort Dragons Utd) (38 Points, 5 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 33
Power Forward : G. Nuñez (CB Bethesdorf) (27 Points, 14 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37
Center : G. Quevedo (F.Day Internet Lovers Club) (15 Points, 19 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 36

MVP of the evening
G. Nuñez (CB Bethesdorf) (27 Points, 14 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37

The bad performance of the evening
F. Alidori (San Dominica Warriors) (12 Points, 1 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 3 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -5

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : R. Stamper (209’s MostWanted) : 5 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : I. Tabrizi (F.Day Internet Lovers Club) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : L. Melucci (F.Day Internet Lovers Club), N. Hayes (Jumpstop Jumpers), L. Alaniz (Jumpstop Jumpers), A. Carečina (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), E. Richardson (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), J. Bover (VileOnes) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : D. Gay (Shandong Golden Lions) : 7 Three points

The best performer : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels) : Rating : 17.0

The worst performer : A. Pérez Ruiz (VileOnes), J. Herman (Balls to the Walls) : Rating : 6.0

Week Two Power Rankings
Week 2 Observations
Welcome to the conclusion of Week 2, where we saw CB Bethesdorf flip a giant bird to my commentary (you'll see what I mean momentarily) and Linndale appear to be selling the house. Everyone's still "in it" as far as I can tell, meaning, no one is botifying any time soon, which is a great relief to me. Last season at this time we lost a great team in Zubr Bialystok, whom I memorialized in an overly dramatic fashion all season long. But we definitely are starting to see the teams that are potentially great, those that are catastrophically terrible (on purpose or just in general) and the rest muddling up the middle. All in all, we appear to be poised for what should be a pretty decent playoff race separating the wheat from the chaff.

While it is definitely not entirely accurate it makes the season a bit more interesting to have these power rankings differ a bit from what we see in the standings. They'll be up and down and around as teams find their groove (or slip and fall on their faces). For those of you who are new, we'll see them pretty much solidify and not see much movement about a week or two after the all-star break.

Couple of quick points: Cellar Dwellers, and self-proclaimed tankers, Jumpstop Jumpers has their 22-year old playing (probably) out of position and averaging 39.5 PPG. Secondarily, not to brag, but more of a surprising note, before Tuesday's game, the Lion Rebels were averaging 9 blocks per game, and I have to confess, I'm not entirely sure how that happened. Our matchup with Linndale was a resettling of sorts. And finally, Dragmort's Asil Anil Pakzat and Mindless' Macario Coedo are striving for what seems impossible in terms rebounds, averaging 21 and 18.7, respectively, per game.

Transfer List Report
There were several additions this week, but because there are several potentially league altering transfers about to happen, I'm going to hold off on a big report here, but here are some interesting numbers from transfers so far this season. (Numbers are from Wednesday of this week)

Average Age of Players Bought/Sold: 25.7
Total Salary Costs of Players Bought/Sold: $1,439,338
Number of Players Bought/Sold: 52
Total Result of Players Bought/Sold: -$792,307
Team with Most Transfers: Jumpstop Jumpers
Team with Most Players Bought: Balls to the Walls
Team with Most Players Sold: Jumpstop Jumpers (2nd place goes to Super Sonics/209's MostWanted)
Number of Teams with Zero Transfers: 5

Here are the rankings, in reverse order: (Last week's rank will be in parenthesis behind the team’s name).

Week Two Power Rankings - Part Two
16. Muffin Men (16)
Dropping to an even worse EFFG this week (48.3), but improving on their OPP EFFG by 5.5 points, Muffin Men sit winless after four having scored just 245 points in 4 games (that's a paltry 61.25 PPG for those of you who've been affected by your child's math homework). After being decimated by the Dragons last weekend and then by the Golden Lions on Tuesday, it's hard to look forward and find room for the hope of improvement here. Their big (and only) signee Carlos Webber looks inept (and not just in his paltry 28% FG shooting) - they're going to have to learn to rely less on him for every game if they're to see return on their results. Next on the slate is The Agency on TV on the road before hosting Linndale next Tuesday.

15. 209's MostWanted (15)
Leaping 30.2 EFFG points forward from 16th place, but dropping to last in OPP EFFG, the effects of 209's selling off nearly $160k in salary and replacing it with just $57k are taking effect. Losses to San Dom (on TV on the road) and Dragmort by 21 at home don't show much promise. But they did win their second Cup matchup and have an easy one upcoming next week after visiting Linndale followed by hosting FDILC next week which may be another 0-2 run unless speedtraps sells off their primaries.

14. Balls to the Walls (14)
No changes in the bottom three rankings this week, and unfortunately for BttW, no show of improvement in either EFF category in week two. Yes, they are the first not winless team this low on the list, and while a loss to Tasty is deserving, losing by 16 to VileOnes is more damning. Having just two players with over 10k in salary, it's impressive on the outset, that they've won one game already. But the Zombies and Sonics loom, and I don't have much hope for them.

13. VileOnes (12)
The first change in these rankings, though a small one, sees VileOnes, winless, drop a spot in these rankings. Reviewing the transfer report, it's not really a surprise after selling off $185k in salary covering four players. While they lost to the Sonics to start the week by 34, they turned around and won by 16 against Balls. A five point improvement in OPP EFFG moves them closer to the league mean, but they're still a ways off. Next comes a test against #1 in EFFG followed by a home matchup with the Tardsicles, so not much hope in the near future.

12. Jumpstop Jumpers (11)
So far, while being 0-4 and categorically (according to the standings) the 2nd worst team in the league, by EFF ratings, they're not that. They did see a large drop off in EFFG, but their defensive EFF is still middle of the pack, which proves them, thus far, to be a diligent devotee to gaining that 1st pick. While they were blown out by Mindless, they put on a work of art against the Sonics by scoring just 45 points in four quarters (that's just 11.25 per quarter, for those scoring at home). Not much should change, except for EFF this coming week as they face Tasty on the road before hosting upstart CB Bethesdorf.

11. Linndale (8)
13 point drops in both EFF categories after matchups against the set of Lions teams in the Big 8 drop them three places in these rankings and ushered in what appears to be a fire sale with adding four players to the transfer list for a total initial asking price of 3.001 million dollars (in BB $, which roughly translates to .03501 cents in US dollars). But fortune may turn, unless they come into that 3 mil over the next few days, as they face the down trodden 209's and pay a visit to Drury Lane this coming week.