Hi, I'm Colin Kaepernick of the San Francisco 49ers. This offseason, I've been in Arizona training extra hard with legendary QB, Kurt Warner. So hard, in fact, I can almost certainly guarantee you a 49ers superbowl championship - soon, very soon! Unfortunately, I was training so hard I missed out on your cute little contest.
You may be asking yourself, why does Colin Kaepernick deserve free things? Well...because I'm Colin Kaepernick, baby! Bigtime! The Bigshow! The Bigarm! I kiss my biceps anytime I want to. I don't need to throw, I can run super fast. Why throw when you're super fast? No one can catch me. Sure, I may be rich but rich people still enjoy free things!
P.S.
Niki Minaj has a sweet ass. I saw it at the NBA allstar game. Wow. I'm gonna tap that.
Yours truly,
The greatest QB of all time
"You will lose." -Ivan Drago