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HSSSSSSSSSS! Hell no! It was those Fightin' Texas Aggies!

(I had to do this ;) )



1) They won't shut up. They have to go on about spirit, and old army, and red ass, and how bonfire represents the burning sensation they have in their urine to beat UT, and blah blah blah. Shut up. You start to get the feeling the entire school was built to spite UT.

2) Forget the fact that when the Texas Legislature back in the 1870's passed legislation to start a state university they also decided to have a subsidiary branch of the main school (University of Texas) that would teach agriculture and mechanics. Aggies love to say their school is older, from where they get that I don't know ... the fact is, the state intended A&M to be a branch of UT. They are like the afterbirth from the original creation. Like Danny Devito in "Twins".

3) So they apparently have this complex, so much so, that they must devote their entire school to trying to prove to UT that they are just as good. All the while, nobody at UT denies that A&M is a good school, yet they won't shut up. So they write a fight song ... about? ... Texas, and how they want to beat them. They have a Fish Camp for freshman where they tell them how bad Texas is and how good A&M and all its traditions are. It is the world's largest known case of penis envy, and it is manifested in everything A&M does.

4) The people at A&M. Now we all have friends who went to A&M or are at A&M. There are some nice people there. However ... There is the Corp. East Texas' answer to dreams of ROTC kids everywhere. For every boy scout who never learned to stop playing with his GI Joe Toys, there is the Corp. Now, forget the fact that A&M will actually let people with sub-par grades enroll if they agree to join the Corp. Forget the fact that the Corps looked like a Gestapo-hate rally while beating down students on Kyle Field in 1995. Forget the fact that along with the numerous hazing charges that have been filed against them, and swept under the rug over the years, they just this past month have had one Corps member bring charges against another Corps member who apparently had been propositioning others for a little actual sodomy. Not only could I go on with more instances of idiocracy by these Khaki-clad-shaven-headed-dorks, I am sure each of you have your own stories. The point is: We all respect West Point, Annapolis, The Air Force Academy; however, nobody respects the Corp. I imagine they are kind of the laughing stock of the military world. Just because you dress like the Army, and try and act like the Army, does not make you the Army. People at A&M don't even respect these clowns. It is not cool to shave your head and dress up. Halloween is only supposed to be one day of the year. If you want to carry guns and beat up civilians, move to Israel.

5) It is even less cool to slobber on somebody's daughter on national television and call it a tradition. Dry humping 18-year-old girls in the stands at football games is not cool. Not only is it not cool, it should be against the law. I know that in College Station, students are just prone to mount each other on the campus lawn, or in the middle of class, or anytime anything good happens you can just grab the girl sitting next to you and start sucking on her face. But everywhere else in the world, it is looked down upon. Especially if you are doing it on my TV. That is why we have moved the game from Thanksgiving. Because people across the nation were gagging on their turkey when in the middle of watching a football game, some boy scout is tongue thrashing some overweight co-ed during somebody's Thanksgiving dinner. We do not need to see burly women engaged in a suckfest every time your woeful offense manages to put points on the board. Some of these girls are in desperate need of a trip to the Clinique counter. Screw that, forget make-up, it is too late for that, just give them a veil.

6) "T.U." is not funny. It is not insulting. It is dumb. Just imagine if folks from Texas kept talking about M&A and g

You're just bitter because I left that embarrassing mark on your team history. You should probably just start over with a whole new squad, to get that mark off of there.

1. That would make sense, except that A&M was founded in 1871, and Texas in 1883. Therefore, it couldnt've been built to despise Texas

2. See #1. Despite what the legislature might have intended, what does it say that it only took A&M a year to organize, but it took Texas 13? They were probably too busy sitting around thumbing their asses about how much better they are than anyone else.

3. It turns out that Texas has this complex where they think that everyone cares about them so much that their lives are centered around it. It turns out, nobody cares about them as much as they care about themselves.

4. I used to dog on the corps a LOT, as a non-native Texan. Then, in high school, I had a family move in across the street from me from Virginia. The dad was a colonel in the Navy, the grandpa was a general, and the other grandpa was something or other else. I asked the Dad, who was injured in Desert Storm, if the corps was viewed as a joke by the military. He said that no, in fact it was probably the highest-regarded non-academy ROTC program in the country. General Patton thought so too. It's pretty shitty to bag on a military program. Lest we note that during WW2, A&M had more officers than West Point and the Naval Academy...combined! And in WW1, the senior class all graduated early so that they could go off to war. The guy who originally wrote this rant is well-known as a tool, and this is just one reason why. And besides which, who is t.u. to complain about sodomy?

5. Ok, really? Slobber? I can use hyperbole too.

6. The point is to remind Texas students which was the first institution of higher education in the state.

The more you know....

That was actually a Jim Rome rant - I originally wrote 0% of that.

Can't I be bitter and stuff?

EDIT: And you pointed that out.

I figured once I referred to you as a Longhorn you'd have seen the cut of my jib.

Last edited by Edju at 5/7/2010 2:38:55 PM

The guy who originally wrote this rant is well-known as a tool

That was actually a Jim Rome rant

Yep, makes sense now. WFU is right too.

The only thing more annoying than either A&M or UT fans in this debate is the thought that the rest of the country remotely cares about what schools in Texas think about each other. As a general rule of thumb, other people do care about what happens in California and New York, at least some of the time. For any other state, people don't give a shit.

Not true. I rely on Texas and Florida for my "no way that really happened" news.

Nah- I doubt you made him any more bitter than 4/27.

But good luck this week against LL

Nice, just got my 6 game update text messages from my game vs. ChiTown...on April 27th.

M2M, Motion - you?

Are you going outside?