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Week Three Power Rankings - Part Three

6. Shandong Golden Lions (5)
EFFG:9 | OPP EFFG:5

Number of Transactions: 3
Profit: $155K
Spent: $0
Result: $155 (plus one $170K payment per week for their prior Center)

Outgoing Salary: $212.8K
Incoming Salary: $0
Result: $212.8K less salary, which is more than seven teams in this league currently pay (and that list certainly does not contain the Golden Lions).

Fun fact: Their $170K center sold for just $1,000. He was only 32. (Me, scratching my head) This market is so bizarre.

5. Mindless Zombies (8)
EFFG:5 | OPP EFFG:7

Number of Transactions: 6
Profit: $454.5K
Spent: $576.8K
Result: -$122.3K

Outgoing Salary: $75.6K
Incoming Salary: $55.1K
Result: $20.5K less salary

Fun fact: All of Dee-Jay-Tee31's transactions came before November 24th, but none of the players they brought in were older than 23, but two of those have less than $6500 salary.

4. F.Day Internet Lovers Club (7)
EFFG:6 | OPP EFFG:4

Number of Transactions: 4
Profit: $950K
Spent: $1.07M
Result: -$120K

Outgoing Salary: $42.7K
Incoming Salary: $89.2K
Result: $46.5K more in total salary

Fun fact: Mc KR made a decision to swap 26-year-old PG Miguel Blanco for 23-year-old Paco Pardo at Center to pair with Igor Tabrizi for a fearsome duo.

3. Super Sonics (3)
EFFG:2 | OPP EFFG:3

Number of Transactions: 7
Profit: $982.9K
Spent: $612M
Result: $370.9K

Outgoing Salary: $189.8K
Incoming Salary: $41.4K
Result: $148.4K less in total salary

Fun fact: zhouzhaoxu dropped Chas Goldsmith and Co. for Stanislaw Fabis, a 27-year-old Center from Poland and his #2 in REB/48 minutes seems to be worth the tradeoff (that and still being 2nd in the Great 8).

2. Lion Rebels (1)
EFFG:3 | OPP EFFG:1

Number of Transactions: 0

Fun fact: Not that I haven't tried, but do you know how hard it is to land the precise player I want? I even broadened my horizons and started looking for guards outside the US. Sheesh!


1. Tasty Tardsicles (2)
EFFG:1 | OPP EFFG:2

Number of Transactions: 0

Fun fact: I've run out of steam on fun facts, so I'll leave you all with this: of all the wheeling and dealing the league did, only four teams MADE money.

Next week we'll be looking back at what Week One's rankings were compared to the current ranking. And with that, Merry Christmas - best of luck this weekend!

“23 turnovers in the BBM game. 24 in the national tournament game. Air, your primary responsibility is the reduction of turnovers. 47 in 2 games. What do you have to say for yourself?” Pio was not a happy man.

“Look man---” Air started.

Pio interjected. “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!!!”

Joshua Doe grabbed Pio and ushered him out into the hallway to cool off.

“Do you remember the fight back in season 50? The one that happened after the scrimmage on the way to the locker room? Cool it, Pio. You’re starting to lose it like that.” Joshua was concerned.

“Come on! That fool kept running his mouth and wouldn’t shut up! What he said deserved a punch in the mouth!” Pio laughed.

“Dude! You hit him like 5, 6 times before we could pull you off. To be fair, his teammates were in no rush to pull you off and they had you surrounded. Guess they were tired of his mouth; too.” They both laughed at the memory.

“I remember when we got separated, I looked back and saw his own team started swinging on him. I really didn’t appreciate Coach sending me to anger management classes back then. It was the right move, but I didn’t like it.” That’s when the realization of Marshall’s words hit him.

Marshall continued. “That’s what you looked like in there. Like you were going to do something you’d regret.”

Inside, Byron Helm was calm. “What Coach Reina is saying is that he wants and expects minimal turnovers. You were brought in as a know it all loud mouth. You complained about not having a different voice here. You ARE the different voice. Because of that, Coach Reina demands minimal turnovers. One of your responsibilities is to get the team to that goal. You are not doing what is expected or demanded of you. Allow me to be crystal clear for you: you WILL give him what he wants.”

Air was annoyed to be talked to like a third rate schoolyard punk. He was also a little angry himself.

Pio walked back into the room calmly. “What do you tell a man with two black eyes?”

Air stared blankly. “I don’t know.”

Pio’s reply was cold. “Nothing. He’s already been told twice.”

Air blinked hard at that.

Pio continued. “Now that I have your complete and undivided attention, understand this: I don’t have to like or get along with you to work with you. Give me the results I want, you stay employed here. It’s simple. Before you joined the staff, we shot 38.7% from deep and had 18.5 assists to 10.8 turnovers per game. Last year, with roster changes, we went 34.2% and 22.8 to 12.4. This year so far, 36.7%, 24 and 12.3. I want turnovers down to 10 per game. We were there a few seasons ago. You can’t get there giving up 47 turnovers in 2 games. I want what I want. You will give me what I want. I do try to be a fair man, so I won’t hold this week against. I’m sure you understand why.”

Air nodded ever so slightly in the affirmative.

“I see the shooting improvement. There is tangible benefit having you around. However, failure breeds discontent. Discontent begs questions. Questions lead to disenchantment and resentment, which leads to anger and action. You fail, voice your discontent, then show your disenchantment through your anger and actions. I don’t want those things. My job to maintain the order, or prevent it from being lost. Are we clear?”

Air answered. “I still don’t like you.”

Pio responded, “2 black eyes”, and walked away.

Happy Ourer: “Here we go Linndale faithful! Coming off 2 badly needed wins with a chance to make it 3 in a row and go over .500 on the season, your favorite basketball team prepares to take on the daunting task of the F.Day Internet Lovers Club. This is not going to be easy.”

Joshua Doe: “No it won’t, Happy. It won’t help that there is some discontent within the coaching ranks either, and right in the middle of it is our old colleague Air Allnite. I was there to interview Byron Helm and Pio Reina when it went down. Pio was livid about the turnovers in the BBM game and the national tournament game, and boy did he let Allnite have it. I would venture that if things don’t change dramatically, Allnite may not have a job anymore.”

HO: “Joshua, you’ve been around Pio longer than I have. How often do these blow ups occur?”

JD: “Long time fans know about the post scrimmage fight where Pio beat the brakes off an opposing player over something that was said. After Pio expressed his views to the young man, the player’s own team did the same. He clearly was not speaking for them and they were sick of his shenanigans. Fans may not know but Coach made Pio attending anger management classes a requirement for Pio that season after that.”

HO: “It must take something severe to get Pio to react like that. That guy is as cool as the other side of the pillow.”

JD: “Don’t mistake that cool for being laid back. Pio has always been a fiery competitor who doesn’t take any crap from anyone. It shows in how he leads this team. Players love the guy and will do anything for him.”

HO: “They’re gonna have to, tonight! There isn’t a position where Pio feels we have a clear advantage. This feels like a game where Pio is going to pull out something from his hat. There’s a good chance it won’t work, and he acknowledged that in my conversation with him, but he said you gotta let the guys have a little fun and give them a chance to do something amazing sometimes.”

JD: “The cloud hanging over the head is Air Allnite. Pio hasn’t really said how the next few games will affect the employment status of Allnite, but I wouldn’t be comfortable. I’m not sure Air makes it through the season.”

HO: “What do you think we can expect, Joshua?”

JD: “I think we’re gonna see the return of a staple. I think Linndale is bringing back the legendary backwards game. Why not? Nothing to lose at all. This will likely be one of the rare ones that happen on the road. I’m not sure if they’ve ever had one on the road!”

HO: “I know the fans have always loved the backwards game. They still talk about that season 58 classic against Hustlas even though we lost 144-143. Joshua, that was a road game! Got beat on the boards bad, but made up for it with steals and turnovers. Almost stole that one!”

JD: “I don’t know if they’re gonna steal this one, but somebody’s gonna have to step up and lead the way.”

HO: “We’ll discuss who are the prime candidates to do just that tonight, when we return from the commercial break!”

Pete:
Right now at the half at the Dungeon your Warrior trail the Dragon Unlimited, 34 to 31. Sam Walsh managed to meet up with Coach as they headed into the locker room

Samantha:
Coach, your team is down by three despite having many opportunities to tie or take the lead, what will your team have to do to get ahead in this one.

Coach Stephenson:
It’s about boards, plain and simple. This is game is just gonna be a good ol’ fashion gorilla ball slug fest. Whoever controls the interior and whoever controls the boards is gonna get the win. Right now that’s them. We knew this, we knew they have a high scorer and they have a silverback. Our silverbacks just have to get in the pit and outwrassle ‘em. Plain and simple Sam.

Samantha:
You heard him Pete. Basically this is going to be an ugly interior battle and the Warriors are going to have to find their grit if they want the win. Right back to you.

3. Super Sonics (3)
EFFG:2 | OPP EFFG:3

Number of Transactions: 7
Profit: $982.9K
Spent: $612M
Result: $370.9K

Awesome ranking, but where did I get 612M from? LOL I must be LA Dodger of basketball where all those money is defer after ten years.

Charles:
I’m Charles Sanborn and if you just tuned in, Warriors wear down the Dragon Corp to leave the Dungeon with a 88 to 72 win. Yes the Warriors won by 16 but this game was closer and more sluggish than the final score will tell you. The Warriors lost the first two quarters, the first 17 to 16, the second 17 to 14. They were being pushed around in the paint. Asil Anil“Packrat” Pakzat and his friend Qu Yu Zi were true silverbacks, just snatching boards like it was leaves falling off trees on an autumn day. The two alone gave the Dragons second chance possession after second chance possession to keep the game more difficult than it really needed to be.

In the second half two things happened, the first Tercero finally did what the Warriors needed to do in the first half. Hit a three. But Tercero did it on the defensive end too, he made a big stop and then LAB Baiao finally started to work. Chris O’Brien, coming off the bench managed not to get in foul trouble and thus was able to do what he did best: get boards. But he added something else: a big three to tie the game at 57

In the fourth, the thing that Stephenson wanted to do all game finally started to pay off. The three silverback rotation of Big Turk, Begin, and O’Brien started to gain an edge on a weary Yuzi and Pakzat. The Dragons couldn’t really go to their bench for size and the Yuzi and the Packrat as Stephenson calls them ran out of bullets and juice. Ranger Granja finally woke up after a couple of steals, one of which actually was turned into points to finish with a double double of 10 pts and 10 rebounds. A stat that probably thoroughly describes this game. At the end of three, Granja had six points , couldn’t seem to hit a barn from ten feet much a basketball hoop, and there was concern that the post game report would start with should Granja come off the bench.

Samantha:
Yeah the difference a quarter can make. For three straight league games the question has been will Ranger Granger show up. Fortunately for Granja, the Warriors bench managed to inspire him enough to remember who he is and get on it. But the win doesn’t change the fact this Warrior offense seems rudderless at the moment. Fortunately again the Warriors’ bench kept them in the game long enough to wear down another opponent and finish the first half of division play in a good position.

Bret:
That’s spot on Samantha. The Warriors …

Samantha:
Oh what is this incident involving Gordo and a chair that Brian told me to ask you about?

Bret and Charles sigh

Charles:
Ok. I’m going to explain this and record this so anyone who keeps asking will have a reference and stop bringing it on air. So you remember the NOFF game right?

Samantha:
Sure

Charles:
Which I guess is appropriate because tonight game was very similar to that game. Though I still vouch that the NOFF game is probably THE sloppiest game played by either the Lion Rebels or the Warriors and yes I’m including their founding years because your first years you’re suppose to be sloppy. But both of these teams in season 60 were seasoned veterans and have caliber seasoned coaches.


Last edited by Coach Stephenson at 12/24/2023 1:20:01 PM

Charles:
Any way. February 21, 2023. Lion Rebels and Warriors in the SMG. Score was 66-50 and ironically enough the last time the Warriors have won in the series. Warriors went 27 out of 89, 4-19 from 3 point land. The Rebels somehow were worse gong 19 out of 81 including 3 out of 26 from beyond the arc. I ‘m curious. What did the Warriors shoot for tonight?

Samantha:
36 of 92. About 39%

Charles:
Yeah see despite all the wasted opportunities the Warriors wasted tonight, they still shot better tonight than they did that game in which the Warriors shot a lousy 30% overall. This game stunk. So of course the players were a little bit chippy afterwards. Now most stories want to say it started with Armstead and Parrish. It kind of did, but not because those two did anything bad. In fact Parrish was telling Armstead this story in which to demonstrate something he pulled his hand back from Armstead. Well Dick Parent of the Lion Rebels saw this and thought Parrish was being disrespectful and started towards Parrish mouthing a few choice words. Valladares sees Parent heading towards his teammate and he moves in. Now fortunately a Rebel assistant coach saw Parent and went to cut him off, but soon Valladares arrives and the assistant coach uses his forearm to keep Valladares away from his guy.

Now the camera eventually showed that the assistant coach never touched Valladares. Unfortunately that wasn't the angle Gordo was seeing things from. From his viewpoint, the assistant was pushing on a Warrior player, so Gordo who has always been a hothead, lowers his head and charges to back up Valladares. Now another Lion Rebel assisstant coach, I can’t remember the name at the moment. But he sees Gordo charging and he grabs a chair.

Now the only reason insantiy doesn’t break out is because Gordo while half way on his charge, is tackled by Bret here.

Samantha:
Wait! You were there?

Bret:
(sheepishly)
Yeah.

Charles:
Bret was doing guest commentating and was taking down equipment when he saw it all happening. Now you’ve seen Gordo, you know is 6’11” and built like Charles Oakley. Bret is 6’7” small forward/power forward hybrid. After that everything calmed down and the teams eventually went to their respective locker room.

Samantha:
And did Stephenson or Coach Blaine ever found out?

Charles:
Oh of course both found out. It was the next day but both coaches eventually heard about it and dealt with it. With that being said. We’ll go to a commercial back and when we come back we continue discussing the Warrior's win over the Dragon Unlimited before opening the phone lines. This is the Warrior’s Den on the Warrior’s Sports Network.

Last edited by Coach Stephenson at 12/24/2023 1:12:37 PM

lol - oof - that’s a bad typo!!

Pio Reina and Roberto Gurgone are having their post game assessment.

PR: We did not generate the steals we needed or force the turnovers we hoped to. Our turnovers held steady at about where we’ve been. We knew we’d lose on the boards; that’s why we needed to generate more steals and turnovers. It was something to try, and the players were glad to run it. Ultimately, we don’t have enough to have that as a real option right now.

RG: OK. Give me your view on who can on this roster.

PR: None of our current guards. Weinstein might develop into one. Farley is the closest to being one.
Enfes can at small forward. Kops needs a bit of work but that should be doable. Reynolds needs work but isn’t far off either. Hatfield is the only big who can. MacNeur is closer than Koncki, but we also don’t have that shot blocking presence.

RG: What are we looking to gain this week developmentally?

PR: None of our guards are worth spit on the boards except Farley. Any improvement helps.

RG: Fair enough. By the way, I agree with your assessment.

PR: Well there’s more. Marshall thinks Kops is better served at guard. I don’t disagree, but I think he needs a bit of work before that can happen. I’d like to see his handle tighten up and his range improve.

RG: I figured you’d want him at guard. What about Enfes?

PR: If he sees time at guard, he needs to tighten his handle, improve his range, and decision making with the basketball. We also need him to finish better at the rim. At some point in the not distant future, we’re going to have them on the court together.

RG: That was the vision. I’m working on some things. Short term, you’ll hate me. Long term, I think you’ll see we’re on the same page. You good with losing Shooter?

PR: I’m prepared to lose any and everyone. I trust if we do, it’s for a reason. I’ll adapt.

RG: It’s not a sure thing, but it’s something I’m looking at. Depends on some other things. I’ll see about getting you some defensive help.

PR: Thanks. Now to deal with Air and his nonsense...

“I see you guys trying to attack the rim and get to the foul line. I see you guys causing 30 turnovers and generating 27 steals. Nice to see you pick up on certain necessities when playing the backwards game. Now, can somebody please tell me what happened to my rebounding? Never have I ever seen such a putrid display on the boards. Never mind that we expected that outcome on the boards; we did not expect the bigs to just not show up on the boards at all. We also didn’t expect you guys to give up 80 points in the first half. Now, you got better as the game went on, and that fourth quarter looks nice on the sheet, doesn’t it? A 40 point quarter and we only gave up 21 is good, right? I mean, except for losing by 23, right? At least it’s better than losing by 24 like we did Saturday night, right?” Pio was not happy, but now wasn’t the time for anger. He was trying to teach a lesson.

“Coach,” Tovar began, “I’m not sure we understood the purpose of what we were doing this week. It wasn’t made entirely clear to us. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I‘m confident when I say the guards were not clued in on what the point was from the start. We kind of pieced it together after talking with the other position groups and assistant coaches. All we got from Coach Motormouth was ‘just get through this week in one piece and things will go back to normal’.”

“You shut your lying mouth, Tovar!” Allnite did not like that at all.

“Or what? You gonna tell us how you were so good shooting you didn’t have to do anything else? You gonna trash talk everybody else and not coach them up? Aren’t you the same guy that told us Monday in practice that, and I quote, ‘this week is all about letting the bigs get their rocks off by beating the guards around; all you have to do is survive’? Do I have that right?”

“That’s exactly what I said.” Air was incensed now. “I didn’t know you were so shallow that you never realized big guys like to take guards down low and beat the hell out of them. You think they like chasing you at the three point line on switches? This is how they get their revenge! If our guys rough you up and that’s too much for you, what do you think other teams are gonna do to you? Sheesh, this generation is just soft! Byron, when you got a chance to take a guard down low, what did you do?”

Helm smiled. “Punish them.”

“Marshall, what did you do when you had a guard on you?”

“Took guys like you in the paint and beat the snot out of them.”

“Pio, you were known as a defender. What did you do best?”

“I guarded the opposing team’s best scorer. If they wanted to go into the paint, I could make things a little difficult.”

“Back to you, you little pissant. When Guyton and Knowles were running the backcourt and you were running your mouth about being the best shooter on the team ---and by the way, you weren’t--- did you ever wonder why you didn’t get any run when Knowles or Mantas played some small forward? It’s because of your defense. You also can’t do spit inside. You can’t rebound, you can’t score inside or finish at the rim, you don’t defend. You’re useless. So, yeah, let the bigs beat the crap out of you. You either learn to survive, or you don’t. Learn to survive and you make the team better. You ain’t that good of a shooter to survive with just a pretty jumper, and yours ain’t that pretty.”

Day 8 (Tuesday 26 December 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Dragmort Dragons Utd 69 - Super Sonics 86
San Dominica Warriors 73 - Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 56
Lion Rebels 126 - Fort Wayne Pistons 86
Shandong Golden Lions 117 - Balls to the Walls 59
F.Day Internet Lovers Club 113 - CB Bethesdorf 101
Linndale 113 - Tasty Tardsicles 136
Muffin Men 90 - VileOnes 77
209’s MostWanted 66 - Jumpstop Jumpers 100

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 136 : Tasty Tardsicles
Rebounds : 73 : Tasty Tardsicles
Assists : 41 : Tasty Tardsicles
Steals : 27 : Linndale
Block Shots : 11 : Jumpstop Jumpers

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 41 : G. Hilliard (Jumpstop Jumpers)
Rebounds : 24 : C. Webber (Muffin Men)
Assists : 11 : G. Izaza (Fort Wayne Pistons), H. Giles (Jumpstop Jumpers)
Steals : 6 : P. Farley (Linndale)
Block Shots : 6 : L. Praznik (Jumpstop Jumpers)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : D. Conaghan (Tasty Tardsicles) (16 Points, 2 Rebounds, 10 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 24
Shooting Guard : K. Brown (Lion Rebels) (28 Points, 0 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots), C. Sârbu (Shandong Golden Lions) (20 Points, 5 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 2 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 28
Small Forward : G. Hilliard (Jumpstop Jumpers) (41 Points, 10 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 38
Power Forward : T. Tovar (Linndale) (35 Points, 5 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 5 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 35
Center : P. Tai On (CB Bethesdorf) (21 Points, 22 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 43

MVP of the evening
P. Tai On (CB Bethesdorf) (21 Points, 22 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 43

The bad performance of the evening
J. Deems (Fort Wayne Pistons) (2 Points, 0 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -5

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : G. Reinhardt (Fort Wayne Pistons) : 8 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : V. Abat (F.Day Internet Lovers Club) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : S. Starr (Dragmort Dragons Utd), M. Albright (Dragmort Dragons Utd), A. Runcie (Dragmort Dragons Utd), R. Gordillo (Dragmort Dragons Utd), R. Braswell (Dragmort Dragons Utd), M. Lahaye (Super Sonics), E. Grantham (Super Sonics), A. Guilla (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), V. Abat (F.Day Internet Lovers Club), A. Durham (VileOnes), G. Hilliard (Jumpstop Jumpers) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : E. Piana (F.Day Internet Lovers Club) : 7 Three points

The best performer : T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) : Rating : 20.0

The worst performer : E. Grantham (Super Sonics) : Rating : 4.5