Well this puts me in a quandary, because I obviously can't respond to this seriously but all the humor that comes to mind is just way too inappropriate for a site where 13-year olds can play. So I will say nothing, I guess.
I'm not judging, I often wish I had had a little more creativity when I was naming my team. Maybe not that particular brand of creativity, but still. And I just can't reconcile myself with spending $100K just to change my team name, when I have so many better uses for the money.