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Week Four Power Rankings & Notes
We're officially 36% through the season with 8 games down in Season 63. This week we're looking back at week one's ranking and how each team has progressed. I hope you all had a merry Christmas and are enjoying something of a break over these few days before New Years. (Quick programming note - for EFFG a + change is positive, while for OPP EFFG a + change is negative. EFFG should be high, and OPP EFFG should be low.)

(Buckle up - I've been off all week, so I got REAALLY wordy)

1. Lion Rebels
Week 1 Ranking: 1
EFFG: 137.5 (no change)
OPP EFFG: 73.8 (+8.8)

The Rebels held out against the Golden Lions on Saturday night thanks to a dominant 2nd quarter, holding them to just 16 points and then surviving a dreadful 3rd quarter before both teams finally came alive in the 4th, collectively scoring 56 points to finish out a very even matchup. They didn't have much of an answer for Choi Kwan who had 28 points on 65% shooting to go along with 21 points. A trip to Fort Wayne proved fruitful as they held the normally very efficient Pistons to an EFF of just 77, which is 43 points below where their average was heading into that matchup.

Next Up: Balls to the Walls at home and then at CB Bethesdorf

2. Tasty Tardsicles
Week 1 Ranking: 6
EFFG: 146.9 (+0.4)
OPP EFFG: 81.8 (-38.2)

Tasty's Week 1 Ranking was a result of their being ranked 11th in OPP EFFG, but they've cleaned that up after their first two difficult matches to extend their unbeaten streak to 8. They came out the gates hot at CB Bethesdorf last weekend, scoring 66 points to CB's paltry 31 in the first half, and despite giving up 40 points in the final quarter as Bethesdorf played catchup, they held out for a 14 point win. They hosted a bewildered Linndale after that and were even more dominant, scoring 84 points in the first half before giving up 47 in the final frame as Linndale caught up to only lose by 23, trimming their 49-point deficit. Vino Bachelier had his best game of this season, scoring 25 points on just 12 shots, including 6-6 from the charity stripe (we'll ignore his game high turnovers).

Next Up: at F.Day Internet Lovers Club and then host to Shandong Golden Lions

3. Super Sonics
Week 1 Ranking: 10
EFFG: 136.3 (+3.3)
OPP EFFG: 78.4 (-52.6)

An even more impressive improvement in OPP EFFG, the Sonics' acquisition of Stanislaw Fabis is proving monumental as he's had 79 rebounds in the five league games he's started, including 23 in their overtime victory over Mindless Zombies this week. It might not seem like much, but Fabis is only averaging 27.7 minutes per game. So, while he's currently only 5th in rebounds per game (at 13.3), extrapolate that up to even just 36 MPG, he'd be at 17 RPG, which would put him 2 boards more per game than the current leader (Golden Lions' Choi Kwan). At any rate, they beat Mindless in a close fought game, and Dee-Jay-Tee's probably correct in that his injured AC Carečina hurt his chances of knocking off the Sonics (more on that later). And then the Sonics took their backups at home against Dragmort for an easy win as they prepped for a Cup matchup against the #153 USA team.

Next Up: at 209's MostWanted and then host to F.Day Internet Lovers Club

Week Four Power Rankings - Part Two
4. F.Day Internet Lovers Club
Week 1 Ranking: 5
EFFG: 127.6 (+1.6)
OPP EFFG: 85.1 (-11.4)

While FDILC has improved their OPP EFFG, they've actually dropped two places, mostly because of the previous two teams' improvements in that category. But they stand at 7-1 and they certainly belong in the conversation about who has the best opportunity to advance to Div. II after this season. On Saturday, they hosted Linndale, defeating them by 24 thanks to 1st and 4th quarter scores of 36 and 37 points to make up for a not so great 3rd quarter 14-point showing. Then they rolled into Bethesdorf Arena in their first cross-conference matchup and after blowing an 8-point lead at the half, escaped overtime with an 18-6 differential. And all of that despite losing starting SF after just four minutes of action, replaced by C. Olivella, who tried to lose it every chance he got it seemed, shooting just 18% on 11 shots, including 1-5 from beyond the arc.

Next Up: host to Tasty Tardsicles and then at VileOnes

5. San Dominica Warriors
Week 1 Ranking: 2
EFFG: 110.9 (-27.6)
OPP EFFG: 82.1 (+4.6)

Pretty big drop in EFFG for the Warriors after their first two games were against Linndale and Muffin Men, which boosted their EFFG numbers to top of the league at that point. But adding in two losses and a close win against Shandong, and reality sets in a bit more. But they're holding steady, despite some weird scoring habits. This week, Dragmort was leading 34-31 at the half and then they were tied at the end of the 3rd, but San Dom turned it on and outscored the Dragons by more than double, matching their entire first half scoring output. But then, they turned in a stinker of a game, beating the short-handed Zombies by 17 and keeping them to just 56-points as bizarrely, Mindless's coach opted not to play Pooh Acevedo, one of the top scorers in the league after their OT game earlier in the week (lots of Zombies things to talk about!). But back to the Warriors, their scoring woes aside, I'm sure they'll figure it out as they venture through the Great 8.

Next Up: host to Fort Wayne Pistons and then at Balls to the Walls.

6. Shandong Golden Lions
Week 1 Ranking: 7
EFFG: 115.3 (+9.8)
OPP EFFG: 83.3 (-18.7)

bzyzz's crew had the unfortunate luck to draw the 10th ranked USA team in the Cup last week, and then the aforementioned close loss to the Lesser Lions before plunging head first into the Great 8 part of their schedule with a 58-point victory over Balls, where despite Balls correct double guess for game day prep, their perimeter defense was nothing, with the Golden Lions being golden beyond the arc, hitting 62% of their 29 shots. They also had 28 assists to Balls 13. Should be an interesting week coming up for them.

Next Up: host to CB Bethesdorf and then at Tasty.

Week Four Power Rankings - Part Three

7. Mindless Zombies
Week 1 Ranking: 9
EFFG: 116.9 (+11.4)
OPP EFFG: 98.6 (-18.9)

You can see the trend in these top teams is generally towards improving over the last few weeks, and despite two of their three losses coming in the last week, Mindless has the pieces to be dangerous. Their sensational outside play both offensive and defensive against the Sonics was brilliant, with Freeman and Acevedo combining for 62 points, but threatened their game shape and resulted in a 9 point loss as they could only muster 7-points in overtime. Heading into the 4th, the Zombies were down by one, but just four minutes into the quarter, they extended a new lead 84-75, scoring 12 unanswered points before the Sonics marched back to tie it up at 84 with 5:11 left. They traded the lead back and forth and then with 20 seconds left, Sonics' Boyce dunked it after a time out to take the lead 91-90. Pooh Acevedo missed at 11 seconds, and then the fouling started up, with Hearn making both free throws to give them a 3-point lead. But Freeman wasn't to be denied and he nailed a three with three seconds left and the Sonics' subsequent shot missed to send them to OT. But that was as good as it was going to get. And then Tuesday night, the Warriors squashed them as Azul Guilla filled in for Pooh as he was apparently on a minute management night. But AC is all healed up, and they won't need to worry about Cup games anymore, so they should see some continued improvement.

Next Up: at Dragmort Dragons Utd and then hosting 209's.

8. CB Bethesdorf
Week 1 Ranking: 3
EFFG: 125.9 (-13.1)
OPP EFFG: 115.4 (+16.9)

CB finds themselves still 4th in the Great 8 despite a 3-5 record and two more losses this week as they had to go up against two of the top three teams in the league, but they did it with a fight. After scoring a measly 31 points to Tasty's 66 first half points, they held even in the third and then turned it on against Tasty's backups, scoring 40 to get within 15 points to close it out. Then they hosted FDILC and despite being down 8 at the half, fought back and pushed them to overtime (two overtime games in one week!) While the home court advantage helped, they had no answer for F.Day's Piana, who scored 30 points on 21 shots, including 7 from beyond the arc. In the end, they fell short, despite having a 5-point lead with 1:33 left in the 4th and again with only 21 seconds left, but Piana nailed another three with 16 minutes left, then with a foul, and two made free throws Piana scored another three with 10 seconds left to trim the lead to one. Burkay made the subsequent free throws again, but the buzzer beating three by 40-YEAR-OLD JUAN MANUEL GARRO sent them to overtime. And that was pretty much the end of the drama as CB scored just six-points in the extra period to go down.

Next Up: Lions Week, with a trip to Shandong before hosting Lion Rebels.

9. Dragmort Dragons Utd
Week 1 Ranking: 13
EFFG: 86.3 (+8.3)
OPP EFFG: 112.4 (-6.69)

Alex Dani's squad hits a four-game losing streak with losses to San Dominica and Super Sonics. The Dragons held tight with the Warriors, as they were tied up at 57 heading into the last quarter. But Mario Granja and LAB combined for 14-points while the Dragons only mustered 15 as a team and the Warriors escaped with a road win. Opting, then, to save their starters to further advance in the Cup, they played their backups against the Sonics who also played their backups for the same reason. But, Dragmort's bet paid off as they did advance and have a chance to continue their Cup run.

Next Up: hosting Mindless then at Fort Wayne.

Week Four Power Rankings - Part Four

10. Jumpstop Jumpers
Week 1 Ranking: 11
EFFG: 80.8 (-9.2)
OPP EFFG: 94.1 (-12.9)

Coach Randle El appears to have abandoned hopes for the #1 draft pick, having added nearly $106k in salary from recent transfers and have arrived at a 3-5 record, just out of playoff contention. But their recent additions have moved them from the bottom of the pack in salary to the middle. This week they knocked off a pair of seven seeds in VileOnes and 209's. While they gave up 40-points to league leading point scorer Jordi Bover, their own Raul Blanco scored 31 on just 22 shots (compared to Bover's 50). Then, hosting the 209, they jumped out to a 33-8 lead after the first quarter and didn't look back, settling in with a 34-point victory.

Next Up: at Muffin Men then hosting Linndale.

11. Linndale
Week 1 Ranking: 8
EFFG: 106.8 (+2.8)
OPP EFFG: 121 (+22)

Well, Speedtraps went and did it and sold 5 players, bringing in another two, including newly minted million dollar man Joy Beko. With the departure of Koncki (I don't think I'll ever understand the big man market in this game) and the much maligned Petriukštis, they drop salary from the median to the lower fourth of the league. Tough week to debut, as they lost to FDILC and Tasty, with both games coming on the road, but they showed the ability to score still, averaging more points per game this week than they have been for the season.

Next Up: Hosting VileOnes and then at Jumpstop.

12. Fort Wayne Pistons
Week 1 Ranking: 4
EFFG: 115.4 (-10.6)
OPP EFFG: 133 (+39)

As you can see, the Pistons took quite a drop from Week One, mostly because of their dramatic increase in allowed efficiency by the opposition. They represent the team with the largest such increase thus far. And while their own EFF has suffered a touch, it's still good enough for 7th overall. It's not their offense that's the problem. They're the only team in the top seven in scoring that have a negative point differential. But last weekend they held their own against Balls, defeating them at home by 23 before succumbing to the Lion Rebels by 40. And with a win on Thursday night, they're still alive in the Cup.

Next Up: at San Dominica and then host to Dragmort.

13. VileOnes
Week 1 Ranking: 12
EFFG: 77.5 (-17.5)
OPP EFFG: 125.3 (+2.3)

The first of our 1-7 teams arrive, and while their OPP EFFG has held steady, their own EFFG has dropped pretty significantly, thanks to Week One matchups with Fort Wayne and (surprisingly) Mindless. They did lose both of those games, (Zombies by just 2) but hit 95 EFFG that week. Since then, it hasn't been as pretty as they lost to everyone in their conference except Balls and are now on a four-league-game losing streak. This week was a loss to Jumpstop by 19 and then a loss to Muffin Men by 13 at home, despite 33 points from PG A. Durham on a night that league leading scorer Bover rode the pine. They allowed 109 EFF to the Muffins, despite the Drury Lane Men posting a 65.5 EFFG average in their first 7 games.

Next Up: at Linndale and then host to Internet Lovers Club.

Week Four Power Rankings - Part Five

14. Muffin Men
Week 1 Ranking: 16
EFFG: 70.9 (+15.4)
OPP EFFG: 125.1 (-6.9)

Congrats to the Muffs on their first win on the heels of their seventh loss and their closest chance at a win before actually winning one this season. Their 7-point loss at home to 209's came after they were leading by 5 at the half, but they allowed 36 points in the third quarter and couldn't regain their lost ground, giving up another 35 in the fourth despite their best efforts to fall short. But Tuesday night they made up for it with a gritty (albeit ugly) victory at Vile where neither team scored more than 23 points in any quarter. In fact, the Muffins scoring by quarter was 22 - 22 - 23 - 23 to arrive at their 90-77 victory.

Next Up: hosting the Jumpers and then at Super Sonics.

15. 209's MostWanted
Week 1 Ranking: 15
EFFG: 80.8 (+3.3)
OPP EFFG: 136 (+4)

And a hearty congratulations to Alex and dem boys for getting their first win of the season against Muffins. This victory was highlighted by three 20+ scorers on the evening in Boga, Azheli, and Kavoukas, with the latter two not getting as many shots in the patient offense but were highly efficient on the night to lead the come-from-behind-victory for the 209. Unfortunately, they couldn't mount a winning streak, as they were throttled by Jumpstop on Tuesday by 34-points, giving up 41-points to SF G. Hilliard who was a perfect 50% from the field.

Next Up: hosting the Sonics and then at the Zombies.

16. Balls to the Walls
Week 1 Ranking: 14
b]EFFG: 57.8 (-26.2)
OPP EFFG: 147.9 (+19.9)

Pretty extreme swings in both categories for Scags whose been searching for the right combo of player personnel and while they had success immediately this season, it's been a long trip since game one. A loss on the road at Fort Wayne where they at least made it somewhat respectable by the ending was followed up with a pitiful performance against the Golden Lions at home where they struggled to even score more than 20 points in any quarter including just 11 points in the third quarter while they gave up 41.

Next Up: at the Lion Rebels and then hosting the Warriors.

Onward through interdivisional play - best of luck!

Pio looked at each of the three men in his office. “Let’s not waste time. You're here specifically because you're my leaders on defense. Note we only have 1 starter here. That’s because the others aren’t at your level yet. We don’t have a single guard in here. We have a small forward, a power forward, and a center. I expect another small forward to join this group by season’s end. You are the keys to this defense. We are going to surround you with other defensive stalwarts and get back to doing what we do. We will defend. We will take care of the ball. We will rebound. These things are non-negotiable. Mr. Enfes, work on the things I’ve asked you in private and I assure you that you will be rewarded. Mr. Beko, you have a long way to go to reach your potential, but make no mistake about the fact that you are the anchor of this defense. Every one in this room complements what you do, and every one of them will be getting even better. Your challenge is to be that guy, that anchor that your teammates are chasing to reach that level. Mr. Hatfield, remember our talk from last season? It’s time to start delivering. Defense starts with communication. I have communicated my expectations to you. I expect you to communicate on the floor with your teammates and get them where they need to be. Take ownership of this defense. Anyone joining this group must also do the same. Nothing less will be expected. If you leave this meeting with nothing else, understand that if you won’t defend, you won’t see the court. Period. You gentlemen, and anyone who joins this specific group has to understand that, live it, and breathe it. Are we clear?”

The three men nodded.

“Maurizio Cerri, your point guard, will defend. We expect Midas Kops to join this group om the near future. Mr. Enfes, I told you we expect you to become the starter at small forward. I never said it would be easy. Also, Mr. Beko, you’re starting next to Josh MacNeur. Note I never said at what position. You have a skill set we can best maximize by simply not tying you to a specific position at any time. Gentlemen, your presence in this meeting means I am willing to play you defensively either on the perimeter or inside. That’s where ball security comes in. Turnovers need to drop. Rapidly."

Cafer Enfes spoke. “Coach, it sounds like you have a numbers in mind. Where are we, and what do you want the numbers at by season’s end?”

“We’re giving up an average of 102 points and 12.6 turnovers per game. By season’s end I want it down to 90 and 10. We have 4 games before the break. I want to see that at 95 and sub 12. What I will NOT do is sacrifice our style of play to make it happen. We are going to play our style and we are going to defend our way and we are going to make it work the way we want it to work. Let’s get back to doing what we do and we will take care of that. That starts with---”

“DEFENSE, REBOUNDING, AND BALL SECURITY!!!”

"Mr. Beko, a word." Pio waited until for the others to leave. "We are going to do some things with you here, but you are going to have to work. You are the centerpiece. You are the straw that stirs the drink, and you're not even close to being at the height of your powers. You want to see more time on the perimeter, improve your shot. Outside and inside. Last time we had a 7 footer with your skills, he was a point guard playing primarily at small forward. Paul Lutz was a far better shooter than you are, but he's not in your league defensively. You have the ability to become as good or even a better shooter than him over time. Expect work everywhere to better develop your already impressive skills."

"Coach, I'm familiar with Floyd Hearn. Any chance we can get another defensive big like that? We get that, and nobody will touch us defensively."

"That's a tall ask. Let's go see our GM."

Happy Ourer: “Happy Ourer with Joshua Doe and welcome to the Linndale pregame show! We are live from Northeast Ohio, and as you might expect, the city and in fact the region is still buzzing after the Cleveland Browns playoff clinching victory on Thursday Night Football, and it seems that some of that buzz is showing up here to watch our favorite basketball team take on the VileOnes. Joshua, what should we expect?”

Joshua Doe: “Happy, we Browns fans have been telling everyone who would listen that these ain’t the Browns you want, Flacco ‘round and find out!”

HO: ‘I see you working there Josh!”

JD: “Happy, you asked what should we expect. Number one, a nack to basics approach from Pio Reina’s squad. They’ve made some additions and the energy seems much better. Number two, expect surprises, starting with our guest, Coach Pio Reina. Coach, how are you doing, and what can the fans expect?”

Pio Reina: “I’m good, Joshua. Thanks for asking. Happy, good to see you. Joshua, fans can expect us to start being who we say we are. They can expect us to going back to the brand of basketball they’ve been accustomed to. We will defend, we will rebound, and we will take care of the basketball. This is what Linndale basketball is, this is who we are, and what we do.”

JD: “Coach, tell us about Joy Beko’s game and what the fans can expect to see.”

PR: “Joy is going to lock someone down. He’s a 7-footer who can guard any position on the court. You might see him on a guard at times, a forward at times, or in the paint. He’s a talented rebounder. He’s the best passing big we’ve seen, but it’s more than that. This young man has the potential to be the best passer we’ve ever had, period. He’s raw offensively, but he’s far too talented to keep off the court or limit to just backup minutes. You’re going to see some of what he can do tonight and it’s going to surprise you.”

HO: “Coach, what can you tell us about the team’s newest addition, Leandro Leao.”

PR: “He’s a young point guard with a lot of upside. He’s raw, but he’s ready to give us some quality minutes. He was brought in to be the backup point guard and grow into a larger role. Whether that is a starting point guard, shooting guard, or combo of the bench remains to be seen, but he’s good enough to be logging meaningful minutes for us right now.”

JD: “Coach, what are expecting to see tonight? What do we need to do to get the win?”

PR: “We need to show up and play our game. Jordi Bover can and will get you. Averaging 32 a game and has hit for 50 plus points at point guard and small forward, so you know they aren’t afraid to move him around. We’re going to find out real quick if our revamped perimeter defense can hold up, and if he gets inside we’ll see how that goes also. If he gets off for 50, we have to shut everyone else down. For us, we need to simply remember who we are and what we do. We’ve always been about team ball. That starts with defense, rebounding and ball security.”

JD: “Thanks Coach! We know you gotta go, we’re looking forward to watching tonight’s game!”

PR: “Thanks, Joshua! Thanks Happy! Happy New Year, and go Browns!”

HO: “That was Coach Pio Reina, and we’ll be back with more during the postgame show. Linndale and the VileOnes coming at you right after this break for the news!”

Sam Walsh:
Guys this was the locker room 20 minutes before tip off

Coach Stephenson:
All right now listen up! Yeah I know what you guys have been hearing and seeing on ESPN, the newspaper, radio, X, Whatever! Right now that doesn’t mean anything. (points outside the door) In a few minutes Fort Wayne is gonna be on OUR floor! It doesn’t matter that the record says they’re 3-5! It doesn’t matter that they’re in 6th place! It doesn’t matter they’re in Redland!

You know what does matter! What matters is we’ve scouted these SOBs! We’ve studied them. We know their habits. We know their strengths and weakness and we have a plan. We’re going to run and we’re gonna pound. And we’re gonna do it again. Run and Pound! Run and Pound until when they go to sleep tonight they’re gonna be seeing us!

I want this win! I want it! You want it! But I can live with a loss. If they come out and shoot threes like the 2nd coming of Jerry West! Fine! I can live with that! But if they outrebound us! Outhustle us! I swear to every last one of you! Whoever is the person who allows that happen their New Years Resolution is gonna be for puking bucket! Now let’s go and defend this house!

Sam Walsh:
I spoke to both Coach Stephenson and Coach Gordo Long just as starting lineup was announced. Both confirmed that the Warriors are going to go with a pound it inside approach with their speed and athleticism and hopefully whittle down a Fort Wayne team with their superior depth. Back to you Pete & Matt!


Last edited by Coach Stephenson at 12/30/2023 8:21:37 PM

Happy Ourer: “Well folks, there you have it! A 105-61 win at home over the VileOnes. Joshua, what did you see tonight?”

Joshua Doe: “It started on defense, and I’m not talking about the 13 steals or 4 blocks. Pio Reina went into the lab and pulled out a defense we haven’t seen used here ever. Pio Reina expected the challenge of Jordi Bover and dialed up a defense to make him work. He didn’t know Bover would be a DNP, but that defense held the VileOnes to 27.5% shooting from the field, 3 of 20 from deep, and only 2 players scored 10 or more for the VileOnes. Aaron Durham, the talented young guard, scored a game high 34 points, but it took him 38 shots. In other words, they made him work. Linndale rebounded. Your starting power forward and center and their backups had at least 11 rebounds apiece. Pio is not going to be happy with the 12 turnovers, but they forced 19.”

HO: “Let’s talk about the newcomers for a bit. What did you see tonight?”

JD: “I don’t know how to describe what I saw for Joy Beko. He was all over the court. He was efficient shooting the ball, he crashed the boards, and defensively he was everywhere. Meanwhile, Leandro Leao had a very solid debut. It’s going to be a lot of fun watching them grow together.”

HO: “Joshua, any other night, the story would likely be Midas Kops and his 27 point night. What else is being overlooked about tonight?”
JD: “The physicality. You don’t grab 61 rebounds without physicality. You don’t have 4 guys grab at least 11 apiece without physicality. You don’t hold a team to 22 of 80 from the field without being physical on defense. There was also physicality on offense! Happy, when was the last time you saw a goaltending call and a shooting foul for the and one? We got that today. Linndale only took 5 three point shots because they were busy attacking the rim. Oh, and the best player on the court tonight? Trenton Tovar. When Trenton Tovar is the best player on the court and he didn’t hit a three, that tells me he bought in to what’s brewing with this team. He didn’t even take a three, and his nickname is Shooter!”

HO: “Joshua, you sound like you expect a playoff run. I don’t think this team is there yet.”

JD: “Happy, I’m not ready to go that far… yet. Linndale is right now looking like that team you don’t want to face in relegation. Next season, however is going to be different. And there is the chance they decide to accelerate the timing to make things happen this season. Roberto Gurgone is not afraid to make a move, and clearly Pio Reina is the coach to take advantage of whatever move that is. Are they a playoff team now? No. We are what the record says we are. Are we close? I think we are, but we don’t know how close. I think we’re going to find out over the next few weeks. Go 3-1 or 4-0 over the next four games, that’s going to change the conversation dramatically.”

HO: “We’ll be back with more after this commercial break!”

Gameday with Pio Reina...

*inside the coaches meeting*

Air Allnite: We have to contain Blanco. The problem is he’s moved around and played everywhere but center. He’s the only true guard of note right now.

Marshall Richards: Valentin is a scoring machine. He’s been seeing the bulk of his work at power forward, but he’s listed at small forward and seen time at both forwards spots, shooting guard, and center.

Byron Helm: Watch for Hayes. He’s active. Adam Kozdrowski doesn’t scare me, but we better respect his board work. We’re going to need an answer for Praznik. His rebounding combined with his shot blocking is a serious game changer.

Pio Reina: They seem to like a lot of zone, and they lack depth. Here’s the thing: I don’t care what they seem to like. What we’re going to do is defend, rebound, and take care of the basketball. We’re playing man defense. If they move Blanco around, so be it; I’ll take our chances. I’ll be interested in seeing what Valentin does against our front line. We’re gonna play it straight.

BH: I like our guys to handle theirs. If there’s a wildcard, it’s gonna be Blanco. He’s gonna need to get hot and stay hot.

AA: If he’s shooting, Valentin doesn’t have the ball. Isn’t that what we want?

PR: We need to find out about our front line. We know they aren’t what we think they will be. We need to find out what they are right now. This ought to be a solid test. Besides, Blanco ought to give us a good indicator on what we do with Shooter. I’m not playing a guessing fame to figure out who’s gonna play where. Either our guys are up to task, or they aren’t. Air, my front court is up to this challenge.

AA: So is the back court.

*After the first quarter*

PR: Alright guys, good start. Give me three more quarters of this! Do not get complacent. Valentin will get hot. Their rebounding will keep them in the game. Hilliard and Blanco are dangerous. This is not going to be easy.

*at halftime*

PR: WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE---

BH: All that good ya’ll did in the first quarter, that’s gone.

PR: Cerri, ya getting cooked. Shooter? Cooked. Enfes? Cooked. What in the… I can’t. Marshall, talk to these people and get them right. *walks out the locker room*

MR: I don’t know what that second quarter was, but I’m telling you that was not Linndale basketball. That was not what we practiced. We prepared you for this. Ya’ll ready to be serious and get back to what we do?

PR: *Charges into the locker room* WHERE’S YOUR PRIDE? WHERE’S THE EFFORT? I TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!!! WHERE’S YOUR FIRE AND PASSION? I AM PISSED OFF! THAT WAS DISGUSTING!!! UNACCEPTABLE!!! *knocks over table, throw chairs at wall* IF YOU’RE NOT PLAYING LINNDALE BASKETBALL, DON’T COME BACK TO THIS LOCKER ROOM WHEN THE GAME IS OVER.

*after third quarter*

PR: Ya’ll better have another way home from the game. You are not going home with me playing like this. Don’t know who you people are, but this is not MY basketball team.

*on-court, post game interview*

PR: We rebounded and took care of the ball, but for some strange reason this team decided they didn’t need to defend. We knew Hayes would be active. It was a priority to have the bench bigs show up. We knew their starting 5 would be a problem in various areas. We did not expect to see our point guard, shooting guard and small forwards get blown off the floor. Our defense did not show up. All I can tell you is that you should probably expect changes to personnel and in roles. That’s a tough team over there, but this was a game I absolutely think we should have won. This was unacceptable.

Day 9 (Saturday 30 December 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 114 - Dragmort Dragons Utd 50
Fort Wayne Pistons 87 - San Dominica Warriors 105
Balls to the Walls 86 - Lion Rebels 103
CB Bethesdorf 74 - Shandong Golden Lions 82
Tasty Tardsicles 86 - F.Day Internet Lovers Club 98
VileOnes 61 - Linndale 105
Jumpstop Jumpers 91 - Muffin Men 67
Super Sonics 109 - 209’s MostWanted 92

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 114 : Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️
Rebounds : 62 : Shandong Golden Lions
Assists : 28 : Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️
Steals : 13 : Lion Rebels, Linndale
Block Shots : 11 : F.Day Internet Lovers Club

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 42 : R. Squires (Fort Wayne Pistons)
Rebounds : 21 : L. Praznik (Jumpstop Jumpers)
Assists : 11 : É. Blanchet (San Dominica Warriors)
Steals : 5 : S. Huerta (Lion Rebels), J. Zhizhuo (Shandong Golden Lions)
Block Shots : 4 : M. Coedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), J. Bégin (San Dominica Warriors)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : É. Blanchet (San Dominica Warriors) (23 Points, 7 Rebounds, 11 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 38
Shooting Guard : B. Pascual (Balls to the Walls) (21 Points, 3 Rebounds, 6 Assists, 1 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 24
Small Forward : Z. Levin (Super Sonics) (27 Points, 10 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 30
Power Forward : I. Tabrizi (F.Day Internet Lovers Club) (34 Points, 17 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 50
Center : M. Coedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) (16 Points, 20 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 0 Steals, 4 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 36

MVP of the evening
I. Tabrizi (F.Day Internet Lovers Club) (34 Points, 17 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 50

The bad performance of the evening
G. Cinovskis (VileOnes) (2 Points, 5 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -6

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : G. Cinovskis (VileOnes) : 8 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : M. Albright (Dragmort Dragons Utd), J. Bégin (San Dominica Warriors), É. Blanchet (San Dominica Warriors), S. Aranda (Fort Wayne Pistons), C. Hofstätter (Balls to the Walls), D. Thomson (Lion Rebels), S. Johnson (Balls to the Walls), E. Diršliokas (CB Bethesdorf), D. Conaghan (Tasty Tardsicles), C. Wui Kwong (Tasty Tardsicles), V. Abat (F.Day Internet Lovers Club) : 5 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : M. Coedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), M. Albright (Dragmort Dragons Utd), R. Braswell (Dragmort Dragons Utd), A. Guilla (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), S. Huerta (Lion Rebels), A. Durham (VileOnes), L. Praznik (Jumpstop Jumpers) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : R. Squires (Fort Wayne Pistons) : 6 Three points

The best performer : T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) : Rating : 18.5

The worst performer : A. Handy (Lion Rebels) : Rating : 3.5