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Oh, I won. That's really interesting considering I'm the 7th best team in the league that can't bang with the top tier (according to some analysts). I mean it's more interesting that I completely forgot to put my best player in the game, and my third best player is injured. $68k just sitting on the bench there watching reserve players get the job done against a 2 seed.

the first third of the season is complete, round 1 of intraconference play has been concluded, and here are your totally non-biased and 100% accurate ranked deductions from the results:

1. Orlando Tragic - 7-0

as expected, the tragic find themselves undefeated, and i don't know how they're going to lose their #1 overall seed. don't get me wrong, things happen, but man, this squad is deep and talented. they need to be careful, though. that game shape is starting to slide a little bit. an upper-echelon team with good game shape can surprise them. pf hamed el hadden is leading the charge with 4.6 apg and 17.6 ppg, despite averaging less than 30 minutes a game. that's INSANE efficiency. in fact, that makes him the 3rd most efficient player in the league. hard to believe that there are better. his turnovers are all that are holding him back from being #1 on that list. you probably have 2 mvp candidates on this team when you include grigoris vassilakos. nobody has been able to match up with him at sf all season. this team has some of the best forwards in the league, and are match up nightmares for all other squads.

2. Rhino’s Rage - 5-2

i think they've gotten the message. losing a few quick games will wake you up to the challenge staring you in the face real quick. if there's 1 team that can match up with the tragic's forwards, it's the rage. game shape isn't spectacular, but it's reasonable, which is plenty when you have a team this talented. pf massimiliano argentoni is just going off this season. he's consistently putting up 17.0 ratings, averages a double double, and is a true shot swatter. he's been far from the only contributor, though. pg maciej swies has a stranglehold on league assists per game. come playoff time, they'll likely have to travel to orlando to bring home the gold and promote back to d2. can they? we'll see. there's no reason to doubt them.

3. DC Wizards - 7-0

underrated? maybe, but a narrow win over baker street isn't enough to wanting to play them less than wanting to play rage or the tragic. they've just added a new center, which poses some interesting questions about their squad. it did seem like they were rather loaded in the front court, so the only reasonable thing to conclude is that this is a replacement for one of their aging players. is bezerra on his way out? further contributing to the seed is this team's injury to their starting pg. that'll hurt their odds of winning for a few weeks. they do have capable backups, and in fact, have THE BEST bench in the league, so that will really help them get through this tough time. they have a bit of a challenge in the cup this week, but with their bench, you'd expect them to pass that test. they keep a pretty tight ship in terms of game shape, and if that keeps up, you could well see them as the blue side representatives in the finals. side note, richard willis is becoming an absolute animal. with druff coming up through the ranks as well, they're set up to have a young and talented front court for a really long time.

4. homeboyz - 5-2

i wouldn't say it's been a disappointing season for the boyz, but i'm sure they'd like to have at least 1 game back. i know the feeling. they threw a game in order to win a cup game and get that sweet, sweet 50k, and more potential money. that's a savvy move, and in the long run, usually pays off. i think there are really only 2 contenders in both the blue and red sides, and this is the last of them. markko vahi is easily an mvp candidate this season. i'd be extremely surprised if he doesn't finish in the top 3 in voting. he is THE MOST efficient player in the league, and 6th highest rated player in the entire division! moreover, for a big guy, hitting 80% free throws is downright scary. you can't even hack him, he'll kill you from the stripe. i don't know how one would go about stopping him.

Last edited by FrostyMc at 12/8/2015 3:24:39 PM

5. Baker Street Irregulars - 5-2

the irregulars are kind of rebuilding. they still have a solid, competitive squad, definite playoff players, but i doubt at this point they'll be anywhere near title contention. sounds like sherlock is dead set on "tanking" this season, in so far as the irregulars can tank. despite that cody meredith is DOMINATING! 14.6 rating, 19.4 ppg, 3.7 apg, he's even hitting the glass from his pg spot. it's hard to believe he'll be omitted from the mvp discussion. after selling langa, baker street is in desperate need of a big man. going up against a front court like homeboyz or dc, or any of the top teams really, is going to be painfully difficult going forward. that said, seriously, good luck stopping meredith. he has the potential on any given night to drop 40 and single handedly win a ball game.

6. LionPride - 4-3

hats off, they've effectively constructed a competitive squad. not enough to contend with the top tier teams, but they'll be in the playoff picture. already bounced from the cup, that'll hurt their attendance a bit, but i don't think money is much of an issue for them. they're 8 deep, working on a 9th presumably, so it looks like their depth is going to carry them through their rookie season here. pf courtney roman, their homegrown talent, is playing the role of team leader, averaging over 20 ppg at only 23 years of age. a lot of teams on the red side seem to be building their teams around the forward spot, and this one is no different. the pairing of roman and jestratijević (god this team has awesome names. lars larsson? come on man, too goddam cool. seriously, is that how you decide on which player to buy? the one with the coolest name?) is formidable, and should cause the blue side some fits in interconference play.

7. Diamantes - 3-4

right now, they've got an experienced cast of characters, and just brought in more firepower with the purchase of pg kostadin kostadinov. as always, their super deep team has kept them competitive in most of their games, and makes them a challenge for anyone anytime they play. and, as usual, they are super old. while, as the season goes on, they'll likely find themselves playing worse and worse, for right now, they're a tough out. diamantes will likely be in the playoff picture, though especially in the blue side, that picture is exceptionally muddled. their center, levente szarka, is leading the way for them, averaging a double double while still contributing 3.6 apg. you'll definitely see a deep cup run from them, and steady league-play, with a chance to make the playoffs.

8. Space von Jam - 3-4

not a terrible start for svj, though i'd bet they'd like that crosstown game back. first games of the season are tricky, and sometimes you can find yourself on a bad side of an unexpected outcome. quick question; does this team ever actually cut anyone? you've got 22 players man, 10 of which pretty much never see the court. you could have, like, $13,288 in weekly salary if you just cut everyone who hasn't played 1 minute this season. it's not like you can sell them, though i definitely understand wanting a free throw specialist on the court... but just like 1, maybe 2. not 8. i digress. svj looks very respectable this season. unfortunately, they've already been beaten in the cup, which means they'll be able to concentrate on only league play, which makes my life more difficult. the team doesn't really have 1 guy that can beat you, but really any of their starters could beat you on any given night. keeping in line with red side trends, their forwards are excellent. svj is a starting shooting guard away from securing a playoff birth, but right now are on the outside looking in. i think the long term answer is guopeng, and buying a veteran at that position could well stunt the team's growth, so i find it unlikely they'll be sifting through the transfer market anytime soon.

9. Frosty BC - 4-3

first off, i should be 5-2. seriously, look at the ratings in this game http://www.buzzerbeater.com/match/87774161/boxscore.aspx . look at the tactics. how did i lose that game? anyone care to explain? because for the life of me, i can't recall ever seeing a game like that. according to the ratings, i shoulda won by about 40 points. instead i lost? umm, how? anyway, right now, half my team's weekly salary is injured. my 2 best players. i don't scare anyone, and won't for the next... 6-8 games, maybe 10. i can still field a competent squad, don't get me wrong, but it's just a shell of what it was. i'm left with next to no depth, and i have a little challenge in the cup this week. might lose. that would suck. hell, i might lose to los angeles tomorrow. like most seasons in the past, liutvickas and slimane will have to do the heavy lifting, and honestly, so far, they've been really good. i've managed to salvage my share of enthusiasm, so i can still surprise people. by the time margono and koscien get back, it may be too late to make a playoff push, with svj and lionpride, not to mention the currently reeling ballstars squad who BEAT ME WTF, all looking to unseat me in my playoff position, and all capable of doing so.

10. Mitsubishi Eclipse - 3-4

all things considered, the eclipse have done pretty well for themselves. i bet they're disappointed in the outcome of the game against LA, but having 1 loss you should've won seems par for the course these days. they're slipping a little bit in the game shape department, and that may bite them. regardless, they have an excellent starting 5, and kent radford is coming along nicely, who should already be a quality depth player. i wonder if the long term idea is to make him into a starting sf. he has the potential and size for it, but i wouldn't venture a guess in terms of his skills. though interior-centric, this squad has been getting it done on the outside as well as the inside this season. on the outside, most notably, in cup games. they need to chill out on korljan's minutes before he drops and dies of exhaustion. the team should get better and better as the season moves on as long as their game shape keeps up, and should be in the playoff conversation the whole way through.

11. BucsBlue Lob City - 2-5

bucsblue has been pretty quiet this season, doing seemingly just enough to avoid relegation for a 2nd straight season. might be a good move, as there does seem to be really 2 outstanding teams this season, and promoting would be extremely difficult regardless of any purchases made. they're still in the cup, and play a bot team, so they'll remain in the cup for at least another week. they haven't been blown out in any game this season, had a close call with the wizards on the road, and have beaten the teams they should've beaten. i think that obliges me to rank them as the best 2 win team, fwiw. tompkins is GOING OFF on the score sheet. so much so that he's world ranked in several categories. he gets to the stripe constantly, buries it from 3 consistently, and still manages to put up 5.3 apg to rank among the top 10 in assists. the only thing holding him back from an mvp award is his team's record. he still has 4 more years in his prime, which is plenty of time to get him both numbers and wins. but yeah, bucsblue is probably going to avoid relegation. playoffs? if he's lucky.

12. Ballstars - 2-5

they've kept in decent game shape, which will bode well in interconference play, as some blue sided teams have not. they somehow managed to beat my team, but this early in the season, even though it isn't going as wellas he'd have hoped, he'd be well served to do as his presser suggests and trust the process. still with one of the best starting 5s in the league, and now with a franchise player in pg jean moreau. $2 mil is an enormous amount to pay for a player. i don't pretend to know what carone looks like, but height-wise he could well move to trainee at sf and just go for jump shot for a few seasons. it's an interesting idea, considering that's what has been hurting him the most this season. mismatches at forward due to the red side emphasis on forwards has been plaguing ballstars. the pp100 differential in pf and sf categories has had a big impact in their losses. despite that, they do keep a tight ship in terms of minutes management, and don't have to worry about the cup anymore, so they could very well come on late in the season. truthfully, a lot of their problems stem from teams simply taking them as a serious team.

13. Sparta Hybla Valley - 2-5

it's a deep enough squad, as evidenced by their continued participation in the cup, but i'm not sure they have the guns to keep up pace with the ballstars (or fbc or svj for that matter) all season. if they don't, boy, the relegation series will be an absolute gauntlet as a 7 seed. that's assuming they can stay ahead of crosstown, which isn't a guarantee. moreover, their game shape is slipping a bit. still, 6 seed and a healthy pd lead on 7 is better than i think a lot of people expected out of this squad. they've done very well the first few weeks. had they won that nail biter against svj early in the season, we could be looking at a whole different world on the red side. interconference play will be absolutely key for this squad. the spots they pick to go all out will be critical in racking up a few wins and distancing themselves from the 8 seed, and keeping pace with the rest of the conference. i wonder if they have a goal win total for the next few weeks, and if they've picked out the favorable, winnable matchups. that was pretty much what i did as a rookie, and it worked out just barely. this will be a fun team to keep tabs on.

14. Los Angeles Knights - 2-5

racking up a couple wins is overachieving for the knights, considering they've been healthy underdogs in all but one game, so they've also done well. they're in pretty much an identical situation as sparta hybla. one interesting tidbit about this team is that their shooting guard, dionisio garcía-arista, is playing out of his goddam mind. averaging a league leading 35.1 ppg, he ranks in the top 500 players IN THE WORLD in points. shooting guards aren't particularly emphasized in this league, really, so he generally has a favorable matchup. plus, he has a good point guard dishing him the ball, and they play an offense that forces their best matchup to shoot a lot, giving him TONS of shots, many of them open shots. he's already dropped 66 and 67 respectively in games. game shape is hurting, though, so climbing out of that should probably be their next point of emphasis. the knights just about pulled the upset against diamantes, which would've changed this team's odds of avoiding relegation quite a bit, but right now they're on the outside looking in.

15. CowMen - 1-6

they beat diamantes, and just about pulled out upsets in 3 other games. this batch of rookies has been no joke. they can all put heat on you. i can't tell which side is more difficult to stay afloat in; red or blue? Although, following in lockstep with their fellow rookies, they're having game shape issues, and that's generally the kiss of death in this league. that's not to say cowmen are without their bright spots, and they have a good enough chance to pull themselves up as any of these teams in this area of the rankings. brady bermudez is an up and coming big man who should be really, really good in about 2 seasons. they have a 20+ ppg scorer in césar antas de ulla, ranking among the top 10 in the league. they absolutely have weapons, and would smoke just about any d4 team... but it's just different in this division. you almost need to get lucky your first season here, because it's just a meat grinder. anyway, i project the cowmen to remain in the 8 spot, but it's certainly not set in stone.

16. Crosstown United - 1-6

well under normal circumstances, cu would be several spots ahead of 16, but with a starter and a quality bench player hurt on an already rail thin team, they won't be beating anybody until they're back. moreover, their game shape is really hurting because of the injuries. just not enough bodies to eat minutes. mcgee is doing his thing still. 3rd in the league in scoring, putting the team on his back doe. they somehow beat svj, and really haven't been very close in a game since then, as demonstrated by their pd. it's really not that far away from ballstars, but it feels different. i think crosstown has a good chance of righting the ship. all their players can ball. well, all but leyva. we'll see. this race is absolutely fascinating.

LOOK NO FURTHER THAN THIS POST AS THE FINAL EXAMPLE OF THE SYSTEMIC MEDIA BIAS PLAGUING JOURNALISM AND COVERING UP THE TRUTHS BEHIND EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN TOLD

7-0 RANKED THIRD. BEHIND A 5-2 TEAM. THIRD. HOW MANY CORNERS ARE ON A TRIANGLE?

(https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1550541334/eye_reason...)

IT'S ALL TRUE PEOPLE. GET YOUR TINFOIL HATS OUT BECAUSE HAARP IS AT FULL POWER.

BENGAZI WAS AN INSIDE JOB
DONALD TRUMP IS THE ONLY ONE TELLING THE TRUTH
JET FUEL CAN'T MELT STEEL BEAMS
HITLER WAS THE GOOD GUY
CHEMTRAILS AREN'T JUST TO RUIN YOUR SUNNY DAY
THEY'RE KILLING OFF HONEY BEES ON PURPOSE
THE SHOOTER ON THE GRASSY KNOLL WAS INSTRUCTED BY THE ROSWELL GRAYS
OBAMA IS A CLOSET HOMOSEXUAL (not that there's anything wrong with that)
THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE YOUR GUNS AND BIBLES
THE PETRO DOLLAR IS GOING TO COLLAPSE AT THE NEXT ARBITRARY DATE POSTED FROM SOME GUY ON YOUTUBE

YOU WERE ABLE TO GET AWAY WITH ALL OF THAT, BUT YOU DONE SLIPPED UP HERE AND THE JIG IS UP BRO. THE SONS OF LIBERTY ARE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS AND THE PARTY IS GONNA GET STARTED.

::HORNS BLASTING::

Another good job Frosty, however I was in the finals last year not DHead wizzards.

oh, pffffff. whoops