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Week Four Power Rankings & Notes
We've reached the very specific 36% of the way through Season 62. This week's update shows a team's post Week 1 ranking. Some big movement on the charts for a few teams. Let's get to it!

1. Tasty Tardsicles (Week 1 Rank: 7)
Tasty holds on to number one this week, edging out number 2 only because of tie breakers. A slight dip in EFFG was balanced out by a nice improvement in OPP EFFG pushing them to #1 in defensive ranks. Two road games this week with a beat down of Twotone coming before taking care of business at Linndale with a come from behind fourth quarter victory. They head home to face Philly before traveling again, this time to the 209.

2. southpaw army (2)
Back up to number 2 and just barely missing out with their league highest EFFG and second ranked defense with slight improvements on both sides of the court. They remain undefeated with the league high point differential after games against F.Day and Fort Wayne. They look to continue their streak on the road against Miami before a 1 v. 1 matchup against Super Sonics next Tuesday in what should be the game of the week!

3. VileOnes (11)
Vile has what should be the highest leap in these rankings since Week 1, moving from 11th up to 3rd, and while their efficiencies took a hit this week, they still managed to rank in the top 5 in both, landing them at third overall. Despite the two losses (Miami by 7 in what amounts to bad timing for Vile and 13 to the Lion Rebels after leading at the half), they look to be a force to be not taken on all willy/nilly. Up next comes the "suddenly last in the Big 8" Linndale followed by a trip to Philly in what could be a season placement defining week for them.

4. Lion Rebels (1)
While my squad's defense has held steady (lower 80's for OPP EFFG), it's the 26 point drop in their own EFFG that's been disappointing. But starting out against Vegas and Linndale followed up by San Dominica and Vile this week will eventually lead to a bottoming out, especially with the defense in this league. Next up comes the Zombies on the road before a trip to the since departed Zubr.

5. F.Day Internet Lovers Club (5)
Holding pat at number 5, Lovers Club has seen a slight improvement in EFFG, but still only rank at 12th but has improved similarly in OPP EFFG, pushing them up to the 3rd best defense which catapults them to 5th. It was quite the dizzying week for them, first falling to southpaw by 32, which saw them grant 140 efficiency while only attaining 73 themselves. Then they turned around and got their gift game against Bialystok with an 84-point victory seeing them net themselves 180 EFF and -20 OPP EFF. This week they take on Fort Wayne before hosting Miami's depleted roster that currently fields the well-known No One.

6. Super Sonics (3)
How do I have the 2nd highest team by record in the league all the way down at 6? Unfortunately for them, their walkover win against Miami doesn't do anything for their efficiency scores (and I gave up trying to account for walk-over wins after whitestok was still absent to start the season). What the efficiencies tell us is that while offensively they hold their own, defensively they're averaging allowing 98.3 per game, which is good for 8th this season, at this point. They're far better than the bad teams, but if they're going to knock out the rest of the great teams, their defense has to show out. Tuesday's 8-point victory over 209's is a good start and they'll get a chance to feast this weekend when they host Las Vegas before traveling to southpaw's canyon in that 1 v. 1 matchup.

Week Four Power Rankings - Part II
7. Mindless Zombies (12)
Another decent jump from week one, the Zombies have improved their EFFG by 20 points and their OPP EFFG by 22 since then. And sure, last week they were ranked second, but they split their games this week, hanging on for a 7-point victory against Vile before San Dominica walloped them, outscoring them by at least 11 points in each quarter except for the fourth (and still, the Zombies out rank them here). This week they host the Rebels before heading for Linndale's I 77 Speedway Arena.

8. Fort Wayne Pistons (9)
HOO-BOY, some people about to be MAD at me. Fort Wayne slips into 8th this week despite going 1-1, being 2-6 on the season, having a -12 PD, AND being 6th in the Great 8. They too had a topsy-turvy week, first traveling to Zubr and gathering up a 106-point victory alongside 272(!) efficiency points which is more than two times what they are averaging on the season. That resulted in a 13-point efficiency boost on both sides of the court. That was followed up by hosting southpaw in which they took a 45-point beating. Next up, they host F.Day Internet before traveling to San Dominica. How long will their 272-point boost benefit them?

9. Philly Dribble (10)
Even before Miguel Velasco was transferred, Philly was a bit on the struggle bus, though they've welcomed a 16-point climb in EFFG since Week 1. A two-win week for the first time this season, thanks to two home games against Linndale where they held onto a 5-point lead through the second half and then a demolition of Twotone in their first Great 8 matchup of the season. Their second television game comes this weekend as they travel to Tasty's House of Hoops before they turn around and host VileOnes. Can they pull out another two-win week?

10. San Dominica Warriors (4)
Last season, I had the eventual champs ranked in this spot at this time in the season, but while I have every belief the same thing could happen for the Warriors, they're just not exacting the type of dominance in efficiency that's been the standard for them the last few seasons. While they've seen a nice bump in EFFG from week one (16.8), their OPP EFFG has struggled (-22.9) through their first walk through the Big 8 side of things. While they're beating the teams they should beat, they've struggled against teams that are more evenly matched against them. But, maybe, if Tuesday nights womping of Mindless Zombies is any indication, their venture into the Great 8 matchups will be more of a romp than a droll. This week looks to continue that success with a bot matchup followed by Fort Wayne Pistons (who, I don't know if I mentioned it already or not, are ranked higher than the Warriors this week).

11. 209's MostWanted (8)
Fortunes have shifted a bit for Alex despite a near 22-point upgrade in EFFG since Week 1, but that's probably because their OPP EFFG has experienced the opposite effect, dropping 23.4 points. They find themselves at 3-5 after The Upset Game of the Week, in which Las Vegas turned the tables in the fourth quarter after being down by 3 and held 209's to just 13 points in that final frame. They head to Twotone this weekend before hosting Tasty.

Week Four Power Rankings - Part III
12. Miami Cleo (6)
I had to apply a manual adjustment to Miami's efficiencies since they're being walked over. It wasn't fair to have them maintain a 117.4 EFFG while losing 50-0 each game. So, I've applied a new formula to their calculations that will continually cut their efficiency scores down each week (they would've been 8th this week). Over time, they'll drop to 15th. My apologies to those who are still below them at this point.

13. Linndale (13)
Speedtraps crew has shown improvement in efficiency since the first week but find themselves still stuck in the lower fourth of these rankings and 8th in the Big 8. Floyd Hearn and Kyle Knowles have attracted a bit of attention on the transfer list, and we'll know by tomorrow night if they get moved. But Leo Genipabu looks to be moving on as does Christophe Nguyen, but there are still doubts that Serkan Sökmen will find a new team. Definitely a bit of heartbreak this week losing both games by a cumulative total of 10 points and now they turn their attention to VileOnes before hosting Mindless Zombies.

14. Las Vegas High Rollers (15)
A win! And 7th place! Followed by a walk-over win to give them two now on the season. Vegas has increased their EFFG and OPP EFFG by 14 each, but they're still not that close to competing closely on the reg. Next comes a road game against Super Sonics and then they have a chance to win a third game against Twotone at home.

15. Twotone Touloose (14)
The Touloose lost by a collective 117 points in two games this week and their EFFG has dropped 30+ points since week one. It's going to be a long rest of the season and that dose of reality should come when #6 in the Big 8 209's come to visit this weekend. They do have a chance to show out against Vegas, and that will be the game to tell us if they're going to have any life at all when it comes down to a relegation matchup.

16. Żubr Białystok (16)
Not much to say about bots!

Onward through interdivisional play - best of luck!

We are definitely moving Floyd Hearn, Leo Genipabu, and Christophe Nguyen. Promptly spent most of the Hearn money on a 23 year old injured power forward... who has game and room to grow. It doesn't look like Kyle Knowles of Serkan Sokmen are going to moved, but if one or both are, we have a plan in place. If they aren't, that's fine too. We'll have cut salary roughly $67,000 so we give ourselves a far better chance than we had financially (Floyd Hearn was worth the risk we took, especially getting him at the price we did and what he brought to the team).

Now we try to do it a little bit cheaper.

Also, The Bossy Little Girl is back home.

We did not expect to win before the game started. When the game started, we took the first quarter. We took the second quarter. We started believing we could win this game. Then the third quarter happened.

It would have been easy for the team to pack it up and go home. We lost the game, but we did not lose our fight. We lost the rebounding fight by 4. We more than made up for that with our steals and turnovers caused. Wee lost the three point fight, but then, they did what they should have and went 3-2 on us.

We're not that far away from competing at the level I expect. Ireneusz Koncki will be back on the court shortly. We just had our interior offense, defense and rebounding gutted, and getting Koncki on the court is a game changer in that regard. We will still be looking for the right pieces at the right price to add, but I feel like we're heading in the right direction.

Get your wins against us while you can.

Pio walked into the GM’s office with his assistants in tow. Everyone wondered why this meeting was called, but no one spoke a word at all. The GM sat at his desk with his back turned to the door, hidden by his oversized chair. That pinged Pio’s radar. This isn’t a normal meeting, he thought to himself. He looked at Marshall and Byron, who were on the same page as their former teammate. Something was off. Maybe not off; but definitely not normal.

Air Allnite was oblivious. This was not his normal environment. At least, it hadn’t been for years.

Coach turned towards the coaching staff. “Hey, I’m just the consultant, but no one was here, the door was open, and the chair invited me to sit in it. I need to get me one like this that reclines.”

After greeting his former players and politely welcoming Air Allnite, Coach spoke to assembled staff.

“I was asked to talk to you because some feelings might be sore. I know Pio is pissed. He’s just had his interior offense, defense and rebounding ripped apart for the second season in a row. I’d be pissed, too. Air, I don’t much care for you, but you got new point guards to work with. Make it happen with those guards. You wouldn’t have gotten them if the organization didn’t believe you were up to it.” Immediately, the entire staff knew something was up, but unsure of what exactly.

Coach noted this, and continued.

“Marshall, you might think you need some new toys, and maybe you do, but the organization thinks the parts we need are already here. Whatever they hand you, work to the player’s strengths. You’ll do fine, I’m sure. Byron, I hear you got new toys also. I think you’ll know what to do with them.” Coach patted Byron on the shoulder. He really was sure Byron would know what to do.

“Gentlemen, you’ll go ahead and open the folders in front of you.” Each folder was opened to a detailed, assignment specific scouting report. Air had the report on the guards, Marshall the wings, and Byron the bigs, while Pio had the report for each player on the roster. Each man took note of the handwritten note included.

“Gentlemen, if you need advice, you know how to reach me. My last act before full time retirement is to introduce your new GM. The previous guy got a promotion and is the new president of basketball operations.”

Into the room walked Roberto Gurgone. His former teammates were excited. Air Allnite was not a former teammate.

“Does this team ever bring in someone with a differing view”, he asked.

“You still have a job here, don’t you” Roberto retorted. Roberto wasn’t trying to make a new friend.
“Gentlemen, we have a retooled front court to integrate. I want to hear thoughts and plans."

Marshall just smiled. Byron smiled. Air appeared to smile. Then Pio spoke.

"Berto, I think we're gonna be okay. Gentlemen, we've got 4 games before the all star break. Let's see if we can cause a little chaos; just because we're in the basement doesn't mean we can't climb up out of this hole."

"Why are you targeting the break," Roberto asked.

"We win 3 of these, we're not out of the playoffs yet. We beat up on the Great 8, I know the Big 8 will be tougher, but they have to notice that, too. Slow starts do not change our expectation, expecially when our front office tells us 'we won't rebuild, we'll just reload'."

Day 9 (Saturday 23 September 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Las Vegas High Rollers 82 - Super Sonics 96
209’s MostWanted 115 - Twotone Touloose 60
Philly Dribble 87 - Tasty Tardsicles 128
Linndale 98 - VileOnes 107
Lion Rebels 104 - Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 114
San Dominica Warriors 127 - Żubr Białystok 21
F.Day Internet Lovers Club 111 - Fort Wayne Pistons 97
southpaw army 50 - Miami Cleo 0

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 128 : Tasty Tardsicles
Rebounds : 70 : F.Day Internet Lovers Club
Assists : 35 : San Dominica Warriors
Steals : 21 : Linndale
Block Shots : 11 : F.Day Internet Lovers Club

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 39 : E. Piana (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)
Rebounds : 23 : I. Tabrizi (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)
Assists : 10 : T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️)
Steals : 7 : K. Knowles (Linndale), M. Granja (San Dominica Warriors)
Block Shots : 6 : D. Branimirović (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : F. Lovaina (Tasty Tardsicles) (25 Points, 5 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 25
Shooting Guard : S. Brinkman (VileOnes) (32 Points, 4 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37
Small Forward : U. Jaén (Fort Wayne Pistons) (26 Points, 12 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 1 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 36
Power Forward : D. Lin (Super Sonics) (26 Points, 20 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 2 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 38
Center : M. Otçigin (San Dominica Warriors) (14 Points, 9 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 3 Steals, 5 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 30

MVP of the evening
D. Lin (Super Sonics) (26 Points, 20 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 2 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 38

The bad performance of the evening
H. Gandy (Żubr Białystok) (0 Points, 6 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -14

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : H. Gandy (Żubr Białystok) : 10 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : D. Boyce (Super Sonics), F. Randle (Twotone Touloose) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) : 53 Minutes

The shooter : E. Piana (F.Day Internet Lovers Club) : 7 Three points

The best performer : W. Acevedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) : Rating : 18.0

The worst performer : W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok) : Rating : 2.0

No story or character development tonight. My turn at Ye Olde Medical Facility. I hate getting sick. I just want one normal week without any shenanigans from the real world. I'm tired. I feel lack of been hit by a semi. A bunch of times. This is not normal.

A win tonight would help me feel a little better.

wow you got your wish.

southpaw army team are dirty. Injury my top 2 players in the 4th quarter. Lucky they both come out with no real long term injury.

Two things.

1 - LOL

2 - The responsible parties have been fined appropriately. No suspensions tho cause we trynna win this beech