You are correct, your relationship with your wife is more than just about the act of sex...and a gay person should feel free to love who they want....and I don't look at your relationship with your wife as courageous, or anything that should be put on a pedestal, just like gay people in love shouldn't be either. Who people love shouldn't matter to the next person....but with this issue, and the sympathetic nature that has come from it, like Fewmit said, a changing view on homosexuality, the media and others are now esteeming them for declaring this aspect of their lives.
Heaven help me for jumping into this thread when there are still pages of unread posts, but I think the point here needs to be raised. For all the angst over gay people coming out, let's not forget that while as a straight man of little import to the world at large, I'll never have a press conference announcing my sexuality, every time I go out somewhere with my wife, that's pretty much announcing my sexuality to the world. The mere act of bringing a significant other to a party or a church or for dinner or anything else is a very small deal indeed for heterosexuals, but the fact that it is such a huge deal for someone to even let it be known that they are homosexual shows there's still a long way to go. I imagine that homosexuals and heterosexuals alike would love a world where the concept of coming out wasn't relevant - you love who you love, and nobody looks the other way. And if we were in that world, it would be a wonderful thing. But you know and I know that if an athlete were to bring his boyfriend out to dinner on Valentines' Day or get tickets for his partner to sit with the WAGs or even attempt to marry someone for love rather than to be on a reality show, it would be just as big a circus as "coming out" but would replace the dignity of controlling the admission with the notoriety of being "outed".
Unfortunately, we're still a country of prefixes. We're not Americans, not men or women - if you're black, you're an "African American", if you're homosexual, you're a "gay man" or a "lesbian woman", and if you believe in Allah you're a "Muslim American" (or "Islamist"). Hopefully when my son grows up and have kids, he'll be able to talk about how stupid his father's generation was in putting so much emphasis on the words that categorize a man or woman and so little on the man or woman themselves.