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Week Five [LATE] Power Rankings - Part Three

6. Mindless Zombies
Last Week's Ranking: 7
EFFG: 123.8 (+6.9)
OPP EFFG: 97.1 (+9.6)

Good improvements in both categories bumped Mindless up one spot in each ranking, resulting in swapping places with last week's 6th ranked squad. They drug Dragmort through the mud for a 64-point victory before turning their sites on 209's and dredging them through it for a 30-point victory to improve to 7-3 on the season.

CUP ACTION
They faced two bots in the Cup before hosting Arizona Desert Storm, then 423rd in the US from Div. IV in the third round, a game in which they opted to run their scrubs out there - led by Ethan Richardson, who thanks to shooting 11-11 from the free throw line, managed 20 points on a dreadful shooting night for the team, in which they only made 16% of their shots and ungracefully exited the Tournament.

Next Up: on the road at Drury Lane before hosting Linndale on TV

7. Shandong Golden Lions
Last Week's Ranking: 6
EFFG: 112 (-3.3)
OPP EFFG: 89 (+3.8)

Shandong's top 5 defense has helped them to a 6-4 record, while their offense has been middling when it matters. In what looked like a closer matchup than it was, they beat Bethesdorf at home and then took a 10-point loss to Tasty's Tards after that.

CUP ACTION
They might be the unluckiest of the group, so far, with two bot matches followed by a road trip to the 10th ranked US team Visionaries. Personally, I hate third round exits, because I've had a lot of them.

Next Up: VileOnes at home and then at Jumpstop

8. CB Bethesdorf
Last Week's Ranking: 8
EFFG: 112.1 (-13.8)
OPP EFFG: 117.8 (+2.4)

CB's losing streak has extended to five games now, and their EFFG drop this week is the largest of any team, but it still keeps them in the middle of the pack in that category. While they scored 31-points in their final quarter against Shandong in their first of two Lions matches this week, it wasn't enough to come back from their 18-point deficit heading into that quarter. Tuesday's game wasn't much fun, though they do get to brag about holding the Rebels' up and comer Sherwood Hollins to 1-12 from the field, while everyone else shot at least 44%.

CUP ACTION
CB's tournament run came to an end after two bot games and then two nice victories, one over 168th Ron Swanson and the other against Urban flow, then ranked 235, both on the road. That run came to an unfortunate end when they took a 2-point lead into the fourth against 110th Caerbannog who came from behind to take the lead with 9 minutes left and then extended it to 8 points before CB mounted their own come back, finally tying it back up with 3 minutes left. With 24 seconds left, York fired off a 3 ball that tied it at 108 and then the opposition scored on an offensive rebound. York again showed some heroics with a shot with four seconds left to tie it at 110 but it all fell apart when Cartaxo was caught on a foul on the buzzer beating attempt to send them to the free throw line where they sealed it with no time left and eliminated them from the Cup. Nice run though!

Next Up: at San Dominica then hosting Dragmort

Last edited by Baine at 1/7/2024 1:54:03 PM

Week Five [LATE] Power Rankings - Part Four

9. Jumpstop Jumpers
Last Week's Ranking: 10
EFFG: 90.6 (+9.8)
OPP EFFG: 91 (-3.1)

Despite a resurgence into playoff contention on the back of a 5-game winning streak, Coach Randall El appears to have shifted course, having listed four players, two of which will probably be sold before I finally get this posted. A dominant win over the Muffins on the road was followed by a nice victory over Linndale with a 9-point win despite giving up mid-20 scores to three of Linndale's top players thanks to not listed The Mismatch Valentin who had 46-points to improve his chances to win the scoring title this season.

CUP ACTION
Two bots led them to a matchup with then 192nd ranked AZ Sunburn of III.13, where they abandoned the tournament ship and gifted the Sunburn a win to enter scrimmage territory.

Next Up: at F.Day before hosting Shandong

10. Linndale
Last Week's Ranking: 11
EFFG: 110.6 (+3.8)
OPP EFFG: 114.9 (-6.1)

A satisfying demolition of VileOnes by 44 was superseded by Tuesday's loss on the road to the Jumpers, especially after jumping out to a 32-17 lead in the first quarter, only to trip over themselves enroute to scoring just 10 points in the second (while giving up 34 and eliminating every source of good will from their coaching staff). Down 15 heading into the final frame, they mustered a ridiculous 46 points, but gave up 40 themselves to fall short in their come back bid.

CUP ACTION
Two bots led to a matchup with then ranked 646th The Adams Family (bu-du-du-dump!) in round three, where they got outscored in every quarter enroute to their ouster from the tournament.

Next Up: Super Sonics at home, then at Mindless on TV

11. Fort Wayne Pistons
Last Week's Ranking: 12
EFFG: 112.5 (-2.9)
OPP EFFG: 133.7 (+0.7)

Fort Wayne has ventured into a three-game losing streak (spoiler alert, they broke it!), with losses this week on the road to the Warriors by 18 and then succumbing to Dragmort 117-111 at home in overtime. Down six heading into the final quarter, they mounted a comeback and finally took the lead at the 2:46 mark, extended it to three, and then were down 1 with 26 seconds left. They fouled Dragmort's Pesen who made the first, but missed the second. They couldn't capitalize and fouled the Dragons' Petrinksi who missed the first, but made the second to make it a 3-point lead with just two seconds. U. Jaén somehow got the buzzer beater off in time to tie it at 94 and send it to overtime. It was close until 1:10 when the Dragons pulled away and free throws, this time sealed the deal.

CUP ACTION
Two bots then a Div. IV win led to a Div. III opponent they beat before then facing III.4's Batnobili on the road. It looked like a good game with Fort Wayne battling back before losing by five to send them home from the tournament.

Next Up: at 209's then hosting Muffin Men

Week Five [LATE] Power Rankings - Part Five

12. Dragmort Dragons Utd
Last Week's Ranking: 9
EFFG: 84.8 (-1.5)
OPP EFFG: 117.1 (+4.7)

Dragmort broke a 5-game losing streak with their overtime victory over Fort Wayne last Tuesday. That came on the heels of the Zombie's bringing an apocalypse to the Dungeon where the Dragons got smoked out by 64. But, most impressive, the Dragons are the only other team still in the tournament - so let's get to that!

CUP ACTION
Like most of us, they've had the pleasure of a couple of bots to start the tournament, but then round three presented them with fellow Div. III Chiefers, then ranked 148 (to Dragons 159). Both teams brought it, but thanks to a 9-point advantage in the second quarter, the Dragons held on for a one point victory to advance. That gifted them a matchup on the road against then ranked 119 Galloping Sloths of Div. II.1. Despite the Sloths playing their studs, Dragmort again took advantage of a strong second quarter and held them to just 58 points for a 12-point victory. Their next matchup, this week, came in the form of rebuilding Evergreen Xenos, currently ranked 280th who they took down 84-58. And that paid off in the form of a (yet another) road game, this time against 167 Wizards BC from IV.9. And with games against two struggling squads this week, they have an opportunity to advance to the round of 64!

Next Up: hosting Balls, then at CB Bethesdorf.

13. VileOnes
Last Week's Ranking: 13
EFFG: 70.9 (-6.6)
OPP EFFG: 127.9 (+2.6)

Welcome to our final quartet, the series of 1-9 teams currently battling it out for the top pick - it's been a few seasons since we haven't had at least one, if not two bots down here, but I'd much prefer real humans occupying the cellar than bots. This week, Vile fell to Linndale on the road before getting pummeled by F.Day 98-69. Still league leader in scoring, J. Bover consistently plays in just one game a week, with maybe a few seconds here or there in the 2nd game. Word on the street is they're outright tanking and don't want to risk Jordi's heroics winning them another game on accident as they tank for that first pick.

CUP ACTION
Vile faced two bots and then two Div. IV squads before being eliminated by 688th DVine Lions in round four.

Next Up: Lions week: at Shandong before hosting the Rebels.

14. Muffin Men
Last Week's Ranking: 14
EFFG: 66.4 (-4.5)
OPP EFFG: 130 (+4.9)

The Muffin Men were ousted by the Jumpers at home and then Girl Interrupted by the Sonics on Tuesday by 53. Newcomer Bhavisa Lal, whose had a couple of games played on India's junior national team, has played 5 games for the Muffs, and in his first game he appeared to be a godsend, despite the loss, with 41 points on 21 shots, going 5-7 from the three-point line. Since then, however, he's averaged just 13.5 PPG on 36% shooting. As a whole, the team is struggling with their shot, averaging 32.5% on the season thus far.

CUP ACTION
Their two bot start to the Cup was ended when they traveled to face 134th Spider Monkeys. They put forth a decent effort, but just couldn't keep up to get ousted in the third round.

Next Up: hosting Mindless before at Fort Wayne

Week Five [LATE] Power Rankings - Part Six
(This is the last one, I swear!)

15. 209's MostWanted
Last Week's Ranking: 15
EFFG: 81.8 (+1)
OPP EFFG: 136.1 (+0.1)

Alex's boys faced two of the top 3 teams in the Great 8 this week, with a home loss to Super Sonics followed by a road loss to Mindless. While neither game was close, they're avoiding getting blown out for the most part this season. Ioannis Kavoukas has been a breath of fresh air, however, averaging a double/double for them at power forward and leading the league in offensive rebounds.

CUP ACTION
Their Cup run came to an end this week after a three bot start then a Div. IV opponent defeat which led them to #216 Swiss Cheese Defense on Thursday. And they didn't live up to their name allowing 209's to score just 15 points in the first half, though they valiantly tried to come back before losing by 9 to get the boot.

Next Up: hosting the Pistons before visiting Balls

16. Balls to the Walls
Last Week's Ranking: 16
EFFG: 59.8 (+2)
OPP EFFG: 150 (+2.1)

Scags crew had a glimpse of unbelievable hope last weekend as they marched into Daylis Arena to take on the Rebels and were only down by 1-point in the first. The lead grew to six by the half and then, remarkably, Balls outscored the Sad Sack Lions by two in the third quarter to cut the lead to four. But, giving up 34 points in the final frame sealed their fate and the brief hope of an impossible upset returned to being just a dream. San Dominica gave them no such ideas, however, jumping out to an 18-point lead by scoring 40 points in the first and never looked back enroute to 135 points dumped on the Balls to the Walls Arena.

CUP ACTION
Scags handled their first two bots and then, on the road in the third round decimated 202nd ranked Amsterdam Chimps by nearly 50 points in what could be categorized as a catastrophic upset. But then, in round four, #218 Rogues gave them no such feeling and held them out of the rest of the tournament after gifting them a 10-point lead in the first quarter before turning it on and outscoring them by 21 in the 2nd to never look back.

Next Up: visiting Dragmort before hosting 209's

Apologies for the lateness of the rankings. Good games last night - ever closer to the all star break!

Day 11 (Saturday 6 January 2024) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Balls to the Walls 102 - Dragmort Dragons Utd 119
CB Bethesdorf 92 - San Dominica Warriors 132
Tasty Tardsicles 72 - Lion Rebels 86
VileOnes 65 - Shandong Golden Lions 98
Jumpstop Jumpers 75 - F.Day Internet Lovers Club 91
Super Sonics 120 - Linndale 107
Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 94 - Muffin Men 67
Fort Wayne Pistons 111 - 209’s MostWanted 104

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 132 : San Dominica Warriors
Rebounds : 72 : 209’s MostWanted
Assists : 33 : San Dominica Warriors
Steals : 11 : Dragmort Dragons Utd
Block Shots : 7 : Dragmort Dragons Utd, Shandong Golden Lions, F.Day Internet Lovers Club

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 44 : J. Valentin (Jumpstop Jumpers)
Rebounds : 27 : R. Stamper (209’s MostWanted)
Assists : 13 : M. Albright (Dragmort Dragons Utd), T. Hearn (Super Sonics)
Steals : 4 : A. Runcie (Dragmort Dragons Utd), G. Hilliard (Jumpstop Jumpers)
Block Shots : 4 : R. Stamper (209’s MostWanted)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : D. Gay (Shandong Golden Lions) (21 Points, 7 Rebounds, 8 Assists, 2 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 31
Shooting Guard : U. Jaén (Fort Wayne Pistons) (28 Points, 5 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 33
Small Forward : M. Granja (San Dominica Warriors) (32 Points, 6 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 40
Power Forward : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels) (23 Points, 21 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 34
Center : M. Jimenez (Tasty Tardsicles) (21 Points, 19 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots), A. Carečina (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) (11 Points, 19 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 32

MVP of the evening
M. Granja (San Dominica Warriors) (32 Points, 6 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 40

The bad performance of the evening
C. Enfes (Linndale) (6 Points, 3 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -6

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : C. Rankin (Balls to the Walls), C. Enfes (Linndale) : 6 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : D. Conaghan (Tasty Tardsicles), S. Aranda (Fort Wayne Pistons), R. Stamper (209’s MostWanted) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : M. Albright (Dragmort Dragons Utd), A. Runcie (Dragmort Dragons Utd), R. Braswell (Dragmort Dragons Utd), J. Bover (VileOnes), L. Praznik (Jumpstop Jumpers) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : E. Diršliokas (CB Bethesdorf) : 7 Three points

The best performer : T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) : Rating : 18.0

The worst performer : W. Mansour (Shandong Golden Lions) : Rating : 3.0

Can't believe I am first!!! This year suppose to be retool year LOL

other news:
I am surprise that one of old draft was here and got sold over a million.
Maybe I should of kept him to get the profit.

USA
Greg Hilliard

Transfer 1/7/2024 63 Purchased from Jumpstop Jumpers for $ 1 268 800
Transfer 7/31/2023 61 Purchased from Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage for $ 634 700
Transfer 8/15/2022 58 Purchased from Super Sonics for $ 104 100
Drafted 7/25/2022 57 Drafted as pick 16 of 48 by Super Sonics in the Season 57 Draft

Sam Dunkley: Sam Dunkley here with the first of a series of one on one interviews with the Linndale coaching staff, and today we start with current assistant coach and former broadcaster, Air Allnite. Air, welcome. Nice to meet you.

Air Allnite: You’re a little young and way too chipper for this gig, kid. Thanks for having me. What do you want to talk about?

SD: Let’s get right into it. Tell us about your roles and responsibilities on the staff.

AA: I wear a lot of hats. I’m the team’s shooting coach, I’m responsible for developing and coaching up the guards, I’m responsible for ball security. I think differently than most of the people around here, so when they want a different view than what they’re used to, the other coaches and front office talks to me. Kind of a devil’s advocate, except I’m no advocate.

SD: That remains to be seen. As shooting coach, who would you say is your prized pupil on the roster?

AA: With all the roster turnover we’ve had, it’s a bit unfair to answer. I’m still getting to know a few guys.

SD: Surprising answer, but accurate. How have you affected ball security?

AA: So you’re judging the answers. Got it. OK, buddy. Strap in; here we go. How have I affected ball security? Mostly I haven’t yet. The improvement there has been addition by subtraction mostly. You want to judge on the results, that’s fine, just know what to watch. Watch the ball handling and passing. You want to know who to watch? Watch me get Ercan Uzek and Leandro Leao up to speed. Watch me work with Jared Jimenez. Watch Cafer Enfes and Midas Kops. Watch Pemwieser and Hatfield improve their ball security.

SD: Who are you most excited to work with and why?

AA: Whoever I’m working with. I want and need to see the improvement. Kops is gonna improve and the challenge is going to be Enfes with his passing skill. My shooting challenge is Cerri and Beko fr different reasons. They’ll get better. Just watch.

SD: Is free throw shooting among your responsibilities?

AA: I’m the shooting coach. What do you think? You also a rocket scientist?

SD: Guards usually dominate the ball and have scoring ability. Kyle Knowles might be the best scoring guard this team has ever seen. Who’s the next Kyle Knowles?

AA: There is no next Kyle Knowles. Kyle is a special talent. Kyle was great here. You don’t just replace greatness at the drop of a hat. We have a lot of young guys who need to develop. I’d say Kops or Enfes. If Enfes gets his ball security under control, him. If Kops polishes his inside game, I’d say him, especially if he moves to guard as we expect. It’s tough to say; with the roster churn we’re seeing, it could be a new guy coming in to claim that spot. If Shooter ever gets it in his head the finishing at the rim is a good thing, he’d be there already.

SD: At the time of this interview, the turnovers are just under 12 per game. The shooting numbers aren’t great. Why do you need to see improvement? Is it pride, job security, or both?

AA: LOOK YOU LITTLE PISSANT!!! YOU GETTING AT SOMETHING?!?

SD: Just pointing out the numbers say you are not good at your job.

AA: You’re new here. A piece of advice: whatever you think you’re doing, don’t. Enfes, Kops, Hatfield, and Leao are all under 40% shooting. They're not going to finish there. Three point shooting is a tougher nut to crack; we will. Free throw shooting will go up. Turnovers will continue to drop. Kid, I did your job, then somehow found myself doing this gig. Know what? I kinda like it, and I’m good at it. Work with good people, even if I do hate ‘em all. If it were easy, anyone could do it. I heard your presser with Reina. You couldn’t; don’t go telling me it’s easy. I don’t like your attitude. We’re done here. [Walks out.]

SD: Happy, back to you.

Joshua Doe: (off air) I'm on Air's side?!? I don't like this at all...

Last edited by Speedtraps at 1/8/2024 2:36:03 AM

I really liked Hilliard. Very salary efficient. I trained him for 2 seasons. Happy with the profits, sad to see him go

You just had to wait to sell those guys until after our game, huh? Cool... cool...

*patiently awaits another shot a Valentin. He's not putting up another 46 on us.

On the morning video call

Roberto: Pio, look at this and give me a plan of action. Pio looked at folder with three files.

Pio: Number 1... The defense is and free throw shooting are there. Offensive potential. Ball security needs addressing. Has shot blocking potential. Gotta be real; we’re probably not going to afford him. Number 2 defends, rebounds and has potential for blocked shots. Raw on offense. Ball security is a concern. If money is a concern, get number 2. Number three… defends, could be a shot blocker, rebounds, no ball security issues, plenty of upside, and affordable? Let’s go!

Roberto: You can’t keep everyone. Gonna have to move some assets.

Pio: I know Cerri, MacNeur and Pemwieser are available. Realistically, Cerri and Pemwieser make sense for us to move. We can replace Cerri now. Would take a short term hit in a few areas, but we can live with it. MacNeur is gonna hurt, but I think that’s more short term too. Pemwieser is gonna hurt our offensive weaponry. His skillset isn’t easily replicated with our roster.

Roberto: I’m sure you’ll figure it out. We’re really gonna piss Air off and put him through it too, but I don’t care about that. He’ll complain, but he’ll get it done with the ball security. That was an inspired choice to give him that responsibility. Why him?

Pio: Can’t shoot it if you can’t hold the ball. I hear he was quite the shooter in his day. So he had to know something about ball security. He’s a cantakerous guy, but he’s actually a sharp guy when you get past all the bluster. He’s still a scumbag, but he’s our scumbag. [Both laugh.]

Roberto: Speaking of Air, that was something the other night. Looks like Dunkley put the screws to him pretty good and set him off.

Pio: I heard about that, but I don’t buy it. Gotta keep up the tough guy act. Probably thinks he was doing Sam a solid. I don’t think that’s any real news there.

Roberto: Well, I see we have some news. Number one is off the reservation. That price tag made some other things we need to do a bit iffy. Number two is ours. Talk to me about usage?

Pio: Great! Anywhere. Everywhere. He can guard 1 through 5 like Beko. Imagine Cerri, this kid, Beko, Hatfield, and Kops. Okay, scratch Cerri and insert Leao. With some internal improvements from the guys we’re keeping, I think we have built the defense we want to see. Young, plenty of room to grow, and the defense plays now.

Roberto: Lineup?

Pio: Mr. Point Guard-slash-Small Forward turned General Manger, how long have we known each other? I know you’re not done! You’ll probably have another move done and force me to change my lineup. As it is, we need to get Marshall to start working on the training schedule change this will require. Also, I’m gonna make a tactical change.

Roberto: Throwing the kids into the deep end, huh? Might as well see who can do what we want to see. I imagine you guys are going to be busy for a bit. I’ll call you if anything changes.

Pio: No you won’t. You’re gonna stroll in like always, and interrupt whatever we’re doing. Probably gonna have another new player with you. Wouldn’t have it any other way, my friend! Well, I would, but that's what you do. We're used to it!

Happy Ourer: Welcome to the Linndale Pre Game Show! We have new additions to the club, a new lineup, and rumor has it that Pio Reina was back in the lab! I’m excited to talk about all of it!

Joshua Doe: We’re gonna go down to court side right now at The Headstone and bring in Sam Dunkley. Sam, what’s the word?

Sam Dunkley: Happy, Joshua, I’m hearing that Air Allnite is incensed at the front office for, in his words, ‘sabotaging his work on ball security’. I don’t know what that entails, but we are working on learning more. I’m hoping to get a word with him postgame.

Happy: You might want security with you after that interview. He didn’t seem very appreciative of your talents.

Sam: (Laughs.) I’m sure he wasn’t. We also have a few lineup changes. Newly acquired defensive specialist Walt Pasman is expected to start at small forward. Midas Kops at guard, Trenton Tovar at the point. Josh MacNeur and Joy Beko will round out the starting five.

Happy: Sam, what can you tell us about the newcomers?

Sam: Happy, Pasman is a 22 year old small forward. A rugged defender and solid rebounder. Promising shot blocker. Offensively, he’s a work in progress. Ondrej Lecian is 21 year old power forward. He’s a passing big man who needs to get stronger. Shows shot blocking promise. Amother work in progress on offense.

Joshua: Sounds like the defense makeover Pio and the staff have been talking up is a real and serious thing.

Sam: The tell will be in what other moves are coming. Pio wants to see what the newcomers can do first hand and said that tonight is just the start. I hear rumblings that they want to have their new defense ready to unleash against a respected and familiar foe, Coach Stephenson’s San Dominica Warriors.

Happy: Makes sense. You know you’ll find out fast if we need to go back to the lab or just make a few tweaks.

Sam: You could find that out against anyone.

Happy: Sam, you’ll find out on January 27th. There’s just something in the air when these two teams go at it. If it plays against San Dominica, it plays against anyone. Joshua, it sounds like Pio’s getting back to his hardcore defensive roots.

Joshua: I love it! We played together on teams where we just uglied the game up with great defense and made you scratch and claw for everything. We just to shut you down and would grind out wins. Sounds like Pio’s going back to that. We won a lot of games that way!

Sam: From scouts I know, I’m told Linndale now has 5 two-way defenders, and believe they have another 2 in house that just need to develop. I’m told you, Pio and the GM know something about that.

Joshua: Sam does research!

Sam: I don’t have athletic ability or good looks, so I gotta do something!

Happy: You’ve got a face for television Sam! Don’t sell yourself short!

Joshua: What are we going to see tonight, Sam?

Sam: Pio says they can’t match up with talent, so they’re gonna try and use depth. Pio says the main thing he wants to see is effort.

Joshua: Whoever doesn’t give Pio the effort won’t be playing, I promise you that. I certainly wouldn’t want to be the guy sitting next to Byron Helm after getting benched for lack of effort!