BuzzerBeater Forums

“Listen up and welcome back. You know what the expectation is. You know what we expect to do. That will not change. Right now, I have things I want you to work on individually. Rod, range. Also be more aggressive. We’ll figure out how to get you in spots to do that. Kyle? Range, ball security, and could you pass the ball more effectively? We’ve got plans for you, too. Shooter, defense and pass the ball. Mantas, assert yourself and be confident. You have everything you need to excel. Just keep getting better. Serkan, glad to see you’ve healed up. Keep getting better, but that passing game of yours is a priority to improve on. You’re a key to unlocking the lineup. Harrison, you pull the crap you did at the start of last season trying to live off of soft, unimportant double doubles, I’ll end you. Understood? Floyd and Ramon, I hear you guys have been already started working on things. I’m excited to see what’s next. Gentlemen, you know what the expectation is. We were one half away from a championship appearance. That was a heck of a run to end last season, but that was last season. I want to coach the league champions. You have things to work on. You do your part and I’ll do mine, and we’ll see if we can make that happen. Rookies and young guns, I told you your job is to TRY to crack the rotation. I don’t expect you to, but I expect you to try your hardest. Which means if you’re not starting, you’d better be looking over your shoulder. In some cases, the starters had better keep an eye out. You youngsters had better find a vet to mentor you. This league is a tough league and will grind you up if you don’t grow up fast. Take advantage of every chance to learn you get. It will only serve to help you and the team long term. Hatfield, you have a lot of work to get caught up to where we want you to be. Make it happen. Harrison, if I were you, I’d be nervous. McCain, I’ve heard things. Show me. I wanna see for myself. Guys, make us better. That’s your job. My job is to make you better. You doing your job makes mine easier. Me doing mine makes your job easier. We’re in this together. Let’s get to work. Together on 3! 1! 2! 3!”

“Together!”

Day 1 (Saturday 20 May 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Philly Dribble 78 - San Dominica Warriors 88
Carolina Rebels 78 - Lion Rebels 89
FR-S 87 - Linndale 109
Las Vegas Silver Stars 85 - 209’s MostWanted 98
The Beer Bellys 107 - BKDogs 119
Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 107 - Super Sonics 105
Żubr Białystok 125 - LionPride 83
Miami Cleo 88 - Tasty Tardsicles 98

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 125 : Żubr Białystok
Rebounds : 63 : 209’s MostWanted
Assists : 31 : Żubr Białystok
Steals : 11 : Linndale, Żubr Białystok
Block Shots : 8 : Las Vegas Silver Stars

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 57 : C. Holley (LionPride)
Rebounds : 22 : F. Hearn (Linndale)
Assists : 9 : É. Blanchet (San Dominica Warriors), P. Matkowski (BKDogs), T. Hok Fung (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), L. Jackson (LionPride)
Steals : 4 : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels), C. McNutt (Żubr Białystok)
Block Shots : 5 : F. Hearn (Linndale)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : T. Rumin (209’s MostWanted) (32 Points, 3 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 32
Shooting Guard : I. Trapezanidis (FR-S) (33 Points, 4 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 2 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 33
Small Forward : C. Holley (LionPride) (57 Points, 9 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 51
Power Forward : F. Hearn (Linndale) (13 Points, 22 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 1 Steals, 5 Block Shots), I. Homs (The Beer Bellys) (36 Points, 11 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37
Center : G. Sankoh (BKDogs) (21 Points, 19 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37

MVP of the evening
C. Holley (LionPride) (57 Points, 9 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 51

The bad performance of the evening
R. Jacob (209’s MostWanted) (0 Points, 0 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -5

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : T. Begley (Carolina Rebels), R. Zviedris (FR-S) : 5 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : J. Bourgeois (Philly Dribble), R. Singh (Lion Rebels), P. Cheatle (Miami Cleo) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : K. Brown (Lion Rebels), W. Acevedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), G. Locus (Miami Cleo) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : G. Azheli (209’s MostWanted), M. Maurin (Miami Cleo) : 5 Three points

The best performer : C. Holley (LionPride) : Rating : 16.5

The worst performer : L. Jackson (LionPride) : Rating : 4.0

Season 61 [late] Preview
Well, here's the unofficial, official welcome to those of us who now reside in Div. III.11. I like to do a little write-up each week, though my real life has been pretty busy lately, so I may not get to it every week...but to start the season, here's my way to early (when really it's just a day before the season, but we know there's probably still going to be a lot of movement to come) preseason rankings. Welcome to all ye newcomers (and one re-comer). I'm obviously hoping for all of your demise and my own glory, but I'm sure that won't happen.

Last season, once again, I predicted Philly Dribble would win it all, and boy did that blow up in my face. I wouldn't have thought they'd be in a relegation matchup. Instead, the Night King's White Walkers trounced us all enroute to Div II. Carolina came on strong right at the right time only to melt into a puddle in the finals for the Big 8.

And now, for my disclaimer:

As always (or at least for the last few seasons), these predictions are based on current salary statistics for the league. Last season, I modified it, and even though I was LOUD wrong, I'm sticking with it. Previously, I ranked teams by salary designations (Total, Top 5, Top 8, Top 10, 6-10) and then assigned points for each ranking, added it up and divided by the number of rankings.

But last season, I measured each salary against the average for each category and then assigned a point value based on that. For example for Total Salary it breaks down like this for teams $100k over the league total average and for teams $100k less the league total average:

Team Total Salary > League Total Salary Average+100,000 = 60 Points
Team Total Salary +100,000 < League Total Salary Average = 0 Points

We'll use this season's current salaries as examples:
- Linndale currently has a total salary number of $385,613, which is just over the league wide average of $272,979, so in that category they score 60 points.
- On the opposite end of the spectrum is FR-S, whose current total salaries are $165,590 - when we add another $100k to that, they're still less than the league average, so they score 0 points.

You then have variances for points assigned to a team based on how far they vary from the average with the above examples being the extreme.

This season I'm weighting Total Salary and Top 6-10 (bench play) the highest (range from 0-60 points), while Top 5 and Top 8 are 2nd tiered (0-30 points) and Top 10 is the lowest tier (0-15 points). Add those five category point totals and then divide by five and you have your rankings. All ties are broken by Top 6-10 rank.

If you're curious, I can provide the exact calculations, but I figure not everyone's as nerdy or interested as me so I won't bore you any more with this.

My usual disclaimer: I'm not a scientist, but I am a dork who can't get enough of this dumb game, thus my predictions. Before the ranking predictions, here are some of the highlights and lowlights of our league.

Current League Leaders in Salary
1. Linndale - $385,613. They've got 15 players rostered currently, which leaves their rank in average salary at 3rd, with Hearn making up the bulk of that, but Guyton and Knowles contribute significantly.
2. Miami Cleo - $362,137. I'm afraid this won't last as packer_22 hasn't logged in since tax day, which would be a shame. Here's hoping we don't lose one of the good ones.
3. Tasty Tardsicles - $328,732. No movement from Tards yet, with 10 rostered players making them the highest per average at $32k per player. I'd guess they would make some moves, but other than "Noodles" in February and transfering two other players, they've been pretty quiet with their roster.

Overall we're averaging $272k in salary, which is up 32k from last season, which was up 27k from the season before. Ya'll gone and lost your minds! This season eight teams are averaging less than that, with only FR-S averaging much less than the average. Żubr comes in just over $400 shy of this mark.. I'm sure there will be lots of changes to this and the rest of these categories over the course of the first few weeks.

Fab 5's
These aren't necessarily the starting 5, but instead the top 5 paid players:
1. Linndale - $303k - 79% of their total salaries
2. Miami Cleo - $264k - 73%
3. Tasty Tardsicles - $247k - 75%

Overall, the 16 teams average $194k for top 5 paid players with 5 teams averaging more than $200k and three teams averaging less than $115k. Six teams are paying more than $200k, while FR-S is the lone team spending under $100k.

Current League Leaders in Assumed Top Bench Players (Top 6-10)
1. Philly Dribble - $99k ($19.9k per player)
2. Żubr Białystok - $93k ($18.76k per player)
3. San Dominica Warriors - $88k ($17.6k per player)

Season 61 Final Ranking Predictions
Feel free to be an angry bird. And don't forget, these salary numbers have already changed, but my ability incorrectly predict these things never will!

16. FR-S - There's just not enough here for SFRS13 to do much of anything with, but only losing to Linndale by 22 points isn't terrible, kinda like Blaine Gabbert as a backup QB.

15. LionPride - Clement Holley looks like Victor Wembanyana on the Spurs' G-league team. Not looking forward to facing that, but at the moment, there's not much surrounding that guy

14. The Las Vegas Silver Stars - Not a lot separates numbers 12, 13, and 14 in my terrible rankings. I'm sure Vegas will find a way to be competitive.

13. 209's MostWanted - I was mean to them in the preseason last season too by ranking them 13th, but while they can score their defense is a liability, especially in this league (and that division).

12. BKDogs - A solid win on Saturday and the addition of Paulos Armonda gives BK a good start to the season and I've probably got them ranked WAY TOO LOW.

11. The Beer Bellys - Sticking around for another go, thatguy's group, aside from Isidre Homs and Yuce are starting to look like last season's Hustlas (old...). But Homs and Yuce are young enough to try and build around - let's see if the Keg is still standing at the end of the season.

10. Carolina Rebels - I did this last year too, and once again it's going to get me in trouble, but Carolina's 15 players total the 10th highest salary, 15th ranked in average salary, 11th in top 5, 13th in top 8, 12th in top 10, and 11th in top 6-10. They strategize and play sharply, which is how they end up making me look like I've got mud on my face.

9. Lion Rebels - Once again, my team shouldn't be ranked this high, though Kurt Brown is starting to come in to his own...I just wish he'd do away with those 1-25 from the field games.


8. Mindless Zombies - I caught the very end of the Zombies/Super Sonics game on Saturday and what a finish! Go check it out if you haven't, but a giant sigh of relief I'm certain, for the Zombies.

7. San Dominica Warriors - They say money can't buy you happiness, but have you seen a dude on a jet ski in the middle of summer? Looks like you can - anyway, regarding money, San Dom doesn't lead the way in any of these categories, but their depth is what traditionally helps them out down the stretch.

6. Żubr Białystok - whitestok's been building and now he's got a solid trio of Hatch, Grimm, and Quindos at the core that are continuing to grow. I don't know they have what it takes to go all the way this season, but they're steadily getting closer.

5. Super Sonics - To tie it up at the last second after battling so hard only to lose on a buzzer beater. Ugh - gut punch. Either way, looks like there's some stiffer competition in the Great 8 this season.

4. Philly Dribble - Last season's predicted #1 preseason team fell apart for reasons I can't understand from the outside. Even though they're getting a bit older, they're still a tough outing every game. We'll see if last season was an anomaly.

3. Tasty Tardsicles - Tasty's going with a slightly smaller lineup, but with only 10 rostered players, they still have the 3rd highest salaries for their players. They also get a boost in the top 6-10 department, which is how they end up here.

2. Linndale - This season, Linndale is ranked at the top of every category except for the top 6-10, of which they rank in the middle of the pack, just above league average. They'll be difficult, no matter where the game's played - but that's also why we play the games!

1. Miami Cleo - This isn't going to age well as I'm guessing bot-status will take over in the next week or two, which is a shame because he's done a real fine job with his top 6 players, most of which are right in their prime rig

Conference Standings
Typically, I break this part down based on my rankings, but I'm going to go ahead and suppose that Miami's prime time players are going to be replaced with the botification process, so I'll adjust accordingly in the below:
Big 8
1. Linndale
2. Philly Dribble
3. San Dominica
4. Lion Rebels
5. Carolina Rebels
6. 209's MostWanted
7. The Las Vegas Silver Stars
8. FR-S

Great 8
1. Tasty Tardsicles
2. Super Sonics
3. Żubr Białystok
4. Mindless Zombies
5. The Beer Bellys
6. BKDogs
7. LionPride
8. Miami Cleo

Playoff/Relegation Predictions
Great 8 Playoffs
Mindless Zombies vs. Tasty Tardsicles (upset!)
Żubr Białystok vs. Super Sonics

Big 8 Playoffs
Lion Rebels vs. Linndale
San Dominica vs. Philly Dribble

Great 8 Semi-Final Matchup
Mindless Zombies vs. Żubr Białystok

Big 8 Semi-Final Matchup
San Dominica vs. Linndale

Relegation Matchups
Carolina Rebels over LionPride in two
The Beer Bellys over The Las Vegas Silver Stars in three
BKDogs over 209's MostWanted in three

Season 61 Championship
San Dominica Warriors over Żubr Białystok in two.

And so, there you have it! Good luck this season and may the best team prove me wrong!

Final programming note: all of my quips and schticks are tongue in cheek meant to have a little fun.

TWO straight 4th quarter melt downs… disappointing.

Your team played a very tough game, but what you call a meltdown I'm calling my team deciding to show up in the fourth quarter.

I look forward to the rematch.

We didn’t deserve to win that with 15 turnovers on 10 assists. Good game, we’ll be a different team in our next match up.

Day 2 (Tuesday 23 May 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Lion Rebels 100 - FR-S 80
Linndale 88 - Las Vegas Silver Stars 75
209’s MostWanted 97 - Philly Dribble 121
BKDogs 111 - Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 94
Super Sonics 103 - Żubr Białystok 115
LionPride 63 - Miami Cleo 94
Tasty Tardsicles 83 - The Beer Bellys 89
San Dominica Warriors 87 - Carolina Rebels 106

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 121 : Philly Dribble
Rebounds : 60 : Miami Cleo
Assists : 30 : Carolina Rebels
Steals : 9 : Linndale
Block Shots : 7 : Miami Cleo, LionPride

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 37 : S. Rigaux (Philly Dribble)
Rebounds : 28 : G. Locus (Miami Cleo)
Assists : 9 : P. Matkowski (BKDogs)
Steals : 4 : K. Knowles (Linndale)
Block Shots : 3 : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels), T. Kuykendall (Lion Rebels), G. Locus (Miami Cleo)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : T. Begley (Carolina Rebels) (17 Points, 3 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 25
Shooting Guard : T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) (28 Points, 5 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 31
Small Forward : P. Paredi (BKDogs) (26 Points, 7 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 3 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 32
Power Forward : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels) (20 Points, 11 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 1 Steals, 3 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 32
Center : G. Locus (Miami Cleo) (28 Points, 28 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 0 Steals, 3 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 49

MVP of the evening
G. Locus (Miami Cleo) (28 Points, 28 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 0 Steals, 3 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 49

The bad performance of the evening
P. Cuellar (209’s MostWanted) (4 Points, 2 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots)B. Huffman (LionPride) (2 Points, 1 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -2

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : A. Quiroga (Las Vegas Silver Stars), D. Chappell (Las Vegas Silver Stars), D. Lin (Super Sonics), G. Locus (Miami Cleo), I. Homs (The Beer Bellys) : 4 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : G. Sankoh (BKDogs) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : S. Hollins (Lion Rebels), A. Guilla (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), S. Hatch (Żubr Białystok), G. Locus (Miami Cleo) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : S. Rigaux (Philly Dribble), Y. Georgoulis (The Beer Bellys) : 7 Three points

The best performer : C. Holley (LionPride) : Rating : 16.5

The worst performer : L. Jackson (LionPride), B. Finney (LionPride) : Rating : 5.0

Week One Power Rankings - Part One
Week One Observations
With the first two games in the books, we'll call that Week One as we head into the first of the BBM games. As Season 61 gets underway, we've got six players averaging more than 25 PPG (including Clement Holley sitting at 39.5 after coming back down to earth and only scoring 22 PTS in their second game). Seven players are averaging more than 15 boards per game, with Miami's Geoffray Locus leading the way at 20 RPG. And lastly, three players are averaging 7 or more APG, with BKDogs' Patryk Matkowski hitting 9 assists in each of his games.

Team-wise, only four teams are averaging more than 100 PPG and four teams are averaging less than 90 PPG.

I won't do this every week, but just pointing a few things from the first two games of the season.
-> My "preseason" 5th ranked team Super Sonics starting out 0-2 is a bit of a surprise, though effort played into at least one of those games. There's plenty of time to rebound, though, and I expect them to turn it around.
-> As previously mentioned, the Silver Stars featured in two 4th quarter melt-downs, eventually losing each game by 13 points while getting outscored by 22 and 21 points respectively in the final frame. They took a 9-point lead into their road matchup with 209's and an 8-point lead at home against Linndale. No matter how you slice it, it hurts.
-> I do want to re-visit Mindless Zombies' buzzer beating victory at Super Sonics...Sonics started the 4th quarter up 70-65, and the two teams danced around that until about 7 minutes left in the quarter where the Sonics hit a couple of free throws to push their lead to 9. At that point, they held the Zombies at arm's length until with just under 4 minutes remaining, they started to make a push and got to within three, then two, then one, then back to three, then one, until the Zombies took the lead with 1:41 left, 98-96. Here's what transpired:
--1:28-- T. Hearn ties it at 98
--1:16-- Mindless' Hok Fung scores on a layup
--1:03-- Hearn again scores to tie it at 100
--0:53-- Mindless' Freeman hits a three to take the lead
--0:42-- Sonics' Coedo hits a jumper to put them down by 1 and a few moments later, the time out comes.

So here they are, having retaken the lead in the 3rd quarter and holding the Zombies off...they come in after the time out and their prize center Goldsmith turns the ball over with 23 seconds (I have a love/hate relationship with the "throws the ball away" turnovers in this game). Supersonics turn around and at once foul Acevedo, who makes both free throws to put them back up by 3.
--0:21-- Full Timeout Super Sonics
--0:16-- Matthews misses a three-pointer...first of all, they should, unless I'm entirely incorrect, have the rest of the clock without any threat of the shot clock running out, but fortunately Goldsmith starts his redemption tour early and grabs the rebound and then with 8 seconds left, "forces up a three" and scores to tie it up. And then this:
--0:00-- T. Hok Fung gets off a great pass to E. Maganja, who goes up for a dunk in a crowd. Scored.
Scored.
Scored.

I'd have been so mad at my team if they'd lost that way. Hopefully zhouzhaoxu doesn't rage quit the game.